"I'm On the List."
Back in my college days it was pretty easy for my friends and I to stroll up to the bouncer of a bar and walk in, without waiting on line. Sometimes it pays to go to college in a small town when the bouncer is also in your Advanced Editing class *wink*.
I also get a giddy feeling when I am invited to an event and I walk up to the PR person and say, "I'm on the list."
With a wedding, it's not always that simple. Depending on the size of your wedding the list may get cut several times before you come to a final number. There is also hurting friends feelings and sometimes even family. When my Dad remarried he invited 35 people, excluding his nieces and nephews. When my Mom remarried, she invited everyone under the sun, because "if you invite this person, you have to invite this person." Both of my parents are encouraging me to have a small affair and I am totally on board. Luckily, my venue only requires us to have 75 guests and the room can hold about 110 comfortably. I personally don't want more than 100 people, i feel like 93-98 is a great number, our total is currently at 105.
These are the tips I'm putting into motion:
-Inviting Plus Ones= No, no. I agree with MSW that if our friends or family are engaged, married or living with someone they must be invited. If they are just dating, I am not inviting them. The good thing about our group of friends is that everyone knows each other and no one will really be "singled out."
-Who to Invite from Work= Since my location is small and so is my department at work, I am planning on only inviting my department. This is also tough since I am also close to a lot of girls that I work with and risk hurting their feelings.
-Do You have to Invite Them if They Invited You= I say "no." MSW has some strong opinions on this one. What do you think?
-You have Relatives or Friends Who Are Known for Misbehaving= This one I am actually concerned about, my cousins have been known to get a tad rowdy on occasion, and my fiance has an uncle who is notorious for making inappropriate comments--loudly, while drinking. I've also had talks with our friends who like to hit the bar a tad too often and I told them that if they act inappropriately that my Bridal Bouncer (AKA my MOH) will have their head.
-Inviting Great Aunt Mildred Who lives in Iowa= If you are 100% sure she won't spring for the flight to New York, what's the harm in spending the postage to make her feel included.
Here's a sample of other Sticky Situations from Martha Stewart Weddings.