Kesha is opening up about her recent eating disorder battle in an incredibly personal, first-person account, saying that above all, her body image problems derived from the pressure associated with Hollywood fame.
"The music industry has set unrealistic expectations for what a body is supposed to look like, and I started becoming overly critical of my own body because of that,” the pop star wrote in an essay for Elle UK. "I felt like people were always lurking, trying to take pictures of me with the intention of putting them up online or printing them in magazines and making me look terrible."
But outside of the limelight, Kesha admits that she was dealing with a private struggle of anorexia and bulimia. She continues, "I felt like a liar, telling people to love themselves as they are, while I was being hateful to myself and really hurting my body. I wanted to control things that weren't in my power, but I was controlling the wrong things. I convinced myself that being sick, being skinny was part of my job. It felt safer somehow."
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Ultimately, the “We R Who We R” singer sought help from her mother and made public headlines when she during a two-month rehab stint earlier this year. For Kesha, the road to recovery was a slow process well worth the wait.
"I knew I was ready to leave when I'd gained enough confidence to get on a plane knowing there would be paparazzi at the airport at the other end,” she writes. “I was right—they were there. But this time, when I saw the pictures, I felt okay."