It was only after I had eaten my starbucks egg, spinach and feta wrap and drank my delisously calorie loaded vente soy no water chi latte' (because soy must mean this is a healthy choice) that I had an epiphany. That the sabatour for my lack of weight loss must be... ME? Yes consciencely I decided back in Febuary that I was going to become " a health" person, the realization was that subconsciencely I have been sabotaging myself the whole way. I know this can't be some lighting bolt from the heavens moment, how many segments on GMA or Dr. Oz described what I was doing to myself in detail. Those words of wisdom that seemed to effortlessly go through the empty tunnel between my ears leaving no trace of it's importance behind because clearly I had already decided to make good decisions. Apparently deciding so and coming to fruition are only pieces of a whole because in the 3 months of being a "healthy person" my life changes don't really seem so life changing. Yes, I did start going to the gym with a determination that was unparalleled for the first 3 days. 5am just seemed like an unreasonable time to wake up, and 5 days a week of exercise still sounds about right but I can always make up for the last day I missed exercising on the next day, which inevidably I will skip because some catastrophy or massive 24 hour sale will keep me from going. Which leaves me with an average of 1 1/2 days of exercise each week. Food, really isn't so differant from the rest. I have always been a pretty healthy person from a food stand point. I love whole fruits, veggies, and even whole grains. I don't care much for soda or power drinks, water with lemon is fine thanks. However, I also love those Fast Food coupons I get in the mail and keep them in my planner because God only knows when I'm going to be out with the kids on a day full of errends (sans going to the gym, too busy and all) and have to stop for food. Well I have to eat too don't I? Hey while I'm ordering through in an extra 4piece chicken nugget, there only a dollar. So tell me again why I'm not seeing any changes or feeling any healther? Alright so will power isn't my strong suite, where do I go from here. Do I start over, regroup, pledge to remove all "bad" choices and become a health master. Will I download a months worth of menus all within an acceptable calorie count and swear on my skinny jeans that I will under no circumstance cheat so help me two piece bathing suite. I guess food for thought is techniclly calorie free, so I'm going it buffet style. I'll chew on my choices with my only goal being to have a game plan considered by next entry but chances are my perfectionism will get in the way and I will have more then I a plate full. My eyes have always been bigger than my stomach.