All my training for the AIDS/Lifecycle ride got me thinking about my relationship with my Cannondale bike. It's a little scary how easy it was to come up with 30 great reasons why my two-wheeler may provide more pleasure than a man. (Hope my boyfriend never reads this!)
1. Bicycles are always game to pose for a selfie any place, any time.
2. Bicycles are available for you 24/7—no need to call or schedule in advance.
3. Bicycles won't get you pregnant.
4. Bicycles are incapable of telling you “no.”
5. Bicycles never make you feel fat. In fact, the more time you spend together, the fitter you get.
6. Bicycles love it when you're needy.
7. Bicycles live for fast girls.
8. Bicycles don't care if you've ridden bigger bikes.
9. Bicycles enjoy spending time with your friends.
10. Bicycles prefer that you ride on top.
11. Bicycles are always up to go away for the weekend.
12. Bicycles don't have crazy ex-bike baggage that will weigh you down.
13. Bicycles will never ask, "How many bikes have you ridden before me?"
14. Bicycles may be high-maintenance, but they always make you look good.
15. Bicycles are open to change. They're also happy staying the exact same.
16. Bicycles only care about the present. Forget yesterday and don't worry about tomorrow.
17. Bicycles aren't afraid of a lifelong commitment.
18. Bicycles appreciate a good lube job.
19. Bicycles welcome spare tires.
20. Bicycles will always go at your pace.
21. Bicycles arrive at the same time as you every single time.
22. Bicycles that go flat are easy to pump up again.
23. Bicycles don't mind visiting your parents.
24. Bicycles help calm you down when you're stressed.
25. Bicycles don't hold a grudge when you're being a total bitch.
26. Bicycles don't care if you ogle at other bicycles in their presence.
27. Bicycles couldn't care less if you wear the same outfit every time you go out.
38. Bicycles won't get mad if you choose not to ride because you have a headache.
29. Bicycles love that you're going places and are happy to go with you.
30. Bicycles love you just the way you are—no added bells or whistles needed.