Jon Stewart and friends on The Daily Show took a look on Wednesday at the way the U.S. handles sexual assault on college campuses—and they aced it. If you haven't seen the segment yet, you'll want to.
After hearing about a recent case at James Madison University in which three students were expelled upon graduation—meaning that after graduating, they wouldn't be allowed back on campus—for reportedly pulling a sophomore student's bathing suit top off while she was drunk, groping her, videotaping it, and then distributing the video, Stewart asked, "Wait a minute—‘expelled upon graduation?' Isn’t that 'graduation?' So no alumni tailgating, no reunions, no bringing your kids back to show them where you abused girls?”
Yup, pretty much, so Daily Show correspondents Jessica Williams and Jordan Klepper came up with some practical tips to help you avoid sexual assault. Klepper wants to remind dudes not to pass out drunk at a party because someone will probably draw a penis on your face, while Williams stresses that women shouldn't fall asleep or pass out drunk at parties because someone will probably put their penis on your face. Also "don't be a doofy, watch out for a roofy," she says, and if you end up having to walk home late at night (as Klepper helpfully points out is always an option), wear a pair of shoes you can run in, adopt a masculine gait, and never, ever wear your headphones.
Satire for the #win. But seriously—watch the segment. It's really that good and is a sobering reminder that when it comes to changing how we treat sexual assault and rape (to start, maybe we could tell people not to sexual assault people; not tell people to go out and make sure they don't sexually assaulted), we have a long way to go.
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