Summer is winding down, and with the end of the season comes an end to (some) summer romances. This heartbreak isn't just a cliche from the movies either—according to Yahoo search data, a lot of people are asking about it. One of the most asked questions: Does he feel the same way you do when you call it quits? We have good news for you: Men feel the same heartbreak as women; they just process and express it differently, according to Rachel DeAlto, relationship expert, matchmaker, and author of Flirt Fearlessly.
The biggest difference? Men tend to bounce back faster, while women analyze and remain emotional longer. DeAlto compares this to ripping off a band-aid versus slowly peeling it off.
But guys don’t necessarily have the advantage. “A quick bounce back often comes from compartmentalization,” says DeAlto. “Men tend to know they were hurt, but ignore those feelings and fill the space with someone (or something) else. It’s not always the healthiest option because they never truly process the loss.”
So, what’s the best way to get over a breakup? First, stop judging yourself—let go of negative internal dialogue. "Listen to that voice in your head, and when you hear her, reframe all negative thoughts by asking, 'How is this thought serving me?' or 'Why am I being so cruel to myself?' suggests DeAlto. Just because you two didn't work out doesn't mean there is something wrong with you.
Lean on the people who will let you vent and won’t tell you to “get over it” too. The key should be to gain perspective. DeAlto suggests reflecting on the relationship from an outsider's perspective—pretend this is your friend's relationship, not yours—to help dull the ache and pick up on red flags you may have missed. We love DeAlto’s final advice: “Get out there. Don't get under someone else, but do go out, flirt, and feel alive and desirable.”
How do you deal with a breakup? Tell us below in the comments or tweet us @Shape_Magazine.