The holidays are the perfect chance to surprise your man with something to spice up your sex life. After all, men and women of all ages love ripping off wrapping paper to find a new toy.
But finding the right present for your boyfriend or husband can be tricky, and you certainly don’t want to scare him off from having sex! Patty Brisben, founder and chairwoman of Pure Romance, LLC, the nation's leading woman-to-woman direct seller of relationship-enhancement products, outlines some simple dos and don'ts to help you give the gift of joy—and then some—to your partner this holiday season.
Don't assume your fantasy is the same as his. He may have limitations you didn't expect or things he wants to explore that you never thought of, which can lead to awkward situations, if not horrified reactions when he opens a gift. "Your gift for your partner should be for both of you to enjoy together, not an excuse for you to indulge in your own fantasies," Brisben says.
Do pay attention for clues about things your mate is curious to try. If your guy has been dropping hints about what he might want to explore, take it run with it. "If your partner hints at wanting to try some things he read in 50 Shades of Grey, then surprise him with a pair of Cozy Cuffs and an intimate invitation to test them out," Brisben suggests.
Don't think you have to surprise him. You could get each other gifts knowingly by discussing and flipping through a catalog together, telling each other what you want. "Just knowing that your purchase will be arriving in a few days creates a great sense of sexual buildup—the anticipation will add an extra buzz to your relationship!" Brisben says.
RELATED: Sex should be fun and pleasurable, not stressful! Don't waste your time worrying about these nine hyped-up sexual issues.
Do level the playing field. As you’ve likely noticed, men go from zero to sex in seconds. “Women, on the other hand, take about 20 minutes to get their heads in the game," Brisben says. She recommends something like the Jelly Tool Belt to constrict him and titillate you so you can play at the same speed.
Don't leave out storage for your gift. Leave your whip or dildo out one time and have your kid or guest spot it, and you’ll learn why discreet cover-ups, such as the Sugar Sak, and artistic-looking toys are increasingly popular.
Do think about long-distance pleasure. You don't have to miss out when your man is away or if he lives across the country. "Women and men alike want intimacy products they can plug into their computer’s USB drive so they can play while surfing the net or have naughty Skype sessions with their partners," Brisben says. (Brands including Love Honey, which is Wii compatible, are available.)
RELATED: Read the expert answers to your hottest sex questions and learn what's really "normal."
Don't forget the baby steps. You don't have to dive into a three-ringed circus. Five different toys can get overwhelming and confusing, and cause you (or your beau) to lose momentum. A simple set such as a massager, massage oil, and candle might be just what you need to get the juices flowing.
Do put blinders on when in the act and focus on the task at hand. "Professional people need blinders like race horses wear so they can focus on intimacy," says Brisben. If you are trying something new in the bedroom, give it your undivided attention so you can give it a fair shot.
If all else fails, don't forget that sometimes the simplest thing you can give this season is the gift of time, Brisben adds. Maybe you just need to make sure you set aside that half hour with him…under the sheets.