We love chatting with Stoya—writer, thinker, on-screen sex haver—about all things sex, relationships, and feminism. In fact, we love it so much, we asked her for her best advice to our readers' most burning sex-related questions. Whatever your deepest, darkest desire is, Stoya's got an answer for you. Up first? A reader who wants to know herself better (if you know what we mean) but isn't quite sure where to start.
Q: I've never really been into porn (although I may have made it onto an iPhone recording—whoops). However, I'd like to find ways to get to know myself better sexually: what makes me tick and turns me on, new things to try. I was wondering if you could suggest any erotic novels, supposing that is a place to begin.
A: Nicholson Baker’s House of Holes is incredibly inventive. This particular book is notable because Baker imagines scenarios that are truly creative and stand out in the pantheon of fictional works centered around sex. The Alt Sex Stories Text Repository can be a bit of a mess to navigate, but it’s a near-endless trove of erotic stories about every subject under the sun. I do mean every subject, so prepare to bump into things that may be disturbing or offensive to you. On a more traditional note, romance novels are full of suggestive love scenes, and Anne Rice’s The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy (originally published under A. N. Roquelaure) is a good old BDSM-themed standard.
There are also a number of adult-film performers who have written about their sexual adventures (both on- and off-screen) in ways that range from mundane to clinical to erotic. You may have to dig around the Internet or their personal blogs, but check out Kayden Kross, Christian, and James Deen's blogs (Warning: NSFW), and all sorts of things that Jiz Lee and Courtney Trouble have written.
Lastly, don’t forget that something doesn’t necessarily have to be meant as erotic or sexually focused to turn you on. You might find something arousing in the packaging copy on a cereal box. I never have, but that doesn’t mean the possibility isn’t there. [Click here to read the full story at Refinery29!]