You may want to give your guy a little more credit. He can tell when you're not enjoying your between-the-sheets action—even if you think your moans say otherwise—researchers say. [Tweet this news!]
In a recent study of 84 couples published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, University of Waterloo scientists were able to prove that men have been getting a bum rap all these years for being a bit dense about female orgasms. It turns out both men and women tend to be pretty good at reading their partner and gauging their emotions or sexual satisfaction.
“I'm glad scientists are beginning to show that men can be very smart about understanding their partner and giving them what they need in bed,” says renowned biological anthropologist and Match.com scientific adviser Helen Fisher, Ph.D. “I’m not surprised that men are perceptive of their partner’s level of sexual satisfaction,” she adds. “When I surveyed more than 5,000 people in our annual Singles in America survey, I found that men are particularly eager to please a woman in bed—far more eager to please her than himself.”
If he's really looking to put your needs first, do him (and yourself) a huge favor and let him know what you want. Just don't have this conversation while you're in the thick of it. “That puts too much pressure on everyone,” Fisher warns. Instead, bring it up casually during dinner, a walk, or another chill time. "This way your partner can hear you, think about it, and respond more naturally when the time is right for him," Fisher explains.
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Being on the same page in the sack doesn't mean that men still don't verbally communicate differently, says psychologist LeslieBeth Wish, author of Smart Relationships. When you're ready to tell him what turns you on, here are some ways to phrase the praise.
"I really liked it when you...."
"Surprise me like that again!"
"What can I do for you next time?"
"Oh, baby, let's try it this way..."
"Let's do it like in the movie..."
"Let's go to a romantic restaurant and talk about our sex fantasies and desires—and then go home pronto."
"Why don't you do that more often?"
"You haven't done that in a long time."
"Where did you get that idea?"
"Oh, not that position again."
"When is it my turn to choose?"
"Don't you remember what I like?"
"I told you that next time I'd like..."
"Next time, can we do it different?"