You've tried using candlelight, giving massages during foreplay, and doing it in the kitchen, but your sex life still seems to be lacking. Don't despair! The real secret to more satisfaction in the sack may be a sigh, moan, or a few sweet nothings, a new study reports. After surveying more than 200 people, researchers discovered that verbal and non-verbal communication—or lack thereof—affects how much people enjoy sex.
People who are hesitant to talk about the deed are not only less likely to tell their partner how good something feels when they’re naked together, they also experience less sexual satisfaction, researchers say.
"Discomfort with sexual communication both inhibits open communication of pleasure during sexual encounters and can reduce the extent to which people have positive and sexually satisfying encounters," says lead researcher Elizabeth Babin, Ph.D. a health communication expert at Cleveland State University.
But if your face turns red at the mention of s-e-x or you’re uncertain what to say to your man while he’s going down on you, you don’t have to use words: Movements and facial expressions—not sitting down and having a conversation about sex or talking dirty—are what's really tied to sexual satisfaction, so start there if you're shy.
"Use a strategically placed sound or facial expression when your partner does something that pleases you to reinforce his behavior," Babin says. "Over time, as you become more comfortable, you can try to express your pleasure verbally, like 'Ooh, that feels good,' or 'I like that; keep doing that.'"
The bottom line? With sex, you learn what feels good through trial and error, and the same is true for communicating that pleasure. You just have to figure out what works for you and your partner, Babin says.
How would you rate your sex life on a scale of 1 to 10? Are you comfortable with "communicating" during sex? Do tell!
Jennipher Walters is the CEO and co-founder of the healthy living websites FitBottomedGirls.com and FitBottomedMamas.com. A certified personal trainer, lifestyle and weight management coach and group exercise instructor, she also holds an MA in health journalism and regularly writes about all things fitness and wellness for various online publications.