Yesterday I wrote about being in the dark about nutrition knowledge. The other side of the coin is being in the dark about your food feelings. Throughout the years in my private practice I’ve seen many clients sabotage themselves. It could be putting themselves in “high risk” situations, like going out to dinner with a friend who is a notorious food pusher, or taking care of someone else’s needs rather than grocery shopping. Using yesterday’s analogy about money it’s a lot like a spendaholic walking into her favorite store during a major sale with card in hand.
Self-sabotage doesn’t have anything to do with a lack of knowledge or willpower. It’s usually about not being ready to change, or being afraid of succeeding. I once had a client who confessed that while she’d thought about everything we had talked about all week she hadn’t made a single change. As much as she wanted to feel better and lose weight she enjoyed the escape and rewards of eating not so healthy stuff. And she said, “Plus if I lose weight what will that mean? Will people treat me differently or expect me to be different?”
All of these feelings are valid and powerful and why any change, whether it be getting your finances under control or eating healthier, isn’t as easy as knowing what to do. The good news is once you understand what’s really holding you back you can get unstuck, but you have to believe that a) what you’re getting out of changing is worth more than what you’re giving up and b) that you’re worth it, not for anyone else but yourself.
Have you ever or do you struggle with emotional traps that hold you back? Please share your thoughts.