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becoming a mom

Last year at this time of the year I weighed 120lbs. I was training for my second half marathon and doing body pump twice a week with my bestfriend Steph. I looked fabulous and loved my body. I was planning a trip to Bermuda with a girlfriend on my ultimate frisbee team, where we would chill with my good guy friend from university, and hit the beach. This year I wiegh in at 170lbs and am planning to get rid of stretch marks and training to improve my 5k and run a 10k.

   Big change right? It got bigger and I had a baby!

   You are probably thinking that having a baby is no excuse for putting on so much wieght. You are right it isn't. I ran up until my 7th month, did prenatal yoga and prenatal aquatics. People couldn't tell I was I pregnant. At 7 months I only weighed 139lbs.  Then on September 29th I got some horrible news. I had a high risk pregnancy.

   I became seriously depressed and blamed my self for my sons heart condition. The Doctor put me off of work and recomended I do limited activity. I was still aloud to go to yoga and walk, but felt to ashamed to show up to class. I thought that the other women would be blaming me for my sons heart condition and I could barely keep from crying in public. Even my walk became to be only 10 minutes as I would break out crying in public.

   I thought of everything I did since getting pregnant and that month I had no idea I was pregnant as we weren't trying for our little miracle. I probably got pregnant on my birthday, and went hiking up Grouse Mountian for my b-day present. My boyfriend payed for my trip to Vancouver, and took me hiking because I love to hike, and you aren't suppose to hike while pregnant. I was training for a half marathon and maybe put to much stress on my body. I went out for sushi with the girls. I lifted wieghts.I had coffee everyday until I found out I was pregnant. I asked about 6 diferent doctors if I was to blame and they said they highly doupted it, but I still couldn't stop blaming myself, what if I didn't want to go hiking and did something else in Vancouver would this had happened. I spoke often to the guidance counselor who also said to stop blaming myself.

   The wieght jumped on full force after Sept 29th. By Dec 30th 2010 the day I gave birth to my son I wieghed 200lbs. I ate way to much crap as I was starved all the time and wasn't getting the excercise I use too. Plus, I ate way to much because the doctor's told me a bigger baby would have a better chance of surviving open heart surgery, and my son will need 3 of them. He had his first one on Jan 4th 2011. My son wieghted 8lbs 15 oz at birth. I want to take a minute to brag about how easily I gave birth. I did it in 30 minutes and when I got to the hospital I was already 8cm dilated!

  I never got to hold my son the minute he was born. My partner saw the baby but I didn't get too. They ran him out of the room the minute they cut the cord. I waited six hours to see him while they hooked him up to machines and injected something in his heart to keep his valve from closing.

  When I saw him I couldn't believe how perfect he was. Then they made me leave and I couldn't see him till the next day. I spent as much time as I could with him, but only was aloud to hold him once before the surgery. I tried not to hate the other mothers in the maternity ward who got to hold their children as they wanted.  You also don't want to know how I took out my stress on the idiot nurse who LOST my breastmilk as I had to pump to make milk since I couldn't hold my son.

  The surgery had lots of ups and downs, but I got to take my baby home where we get to stay; unless he gets a cold, until his second operation. The first operation was called the Norwood.

   After giving birth my wieght went down to 180. It is currently at 170. The day the doctor said I could work out I started to run and train for a 5k. I had my worse time every on my saint patrick's day run.Last year I did the 10k with a cold and it took me 61 minutes. It took me 34 minutes to run a 5k, but I am still proud of myself. Training let me get 10lbs thinner and my body fat down 3%. The weight went up to 175 but my body fat went down, and then I lost those five pounds and my body fat went down another 1%. I went from an xl to a size L and got to chuck my maternity pants for size 12s! I am still proud of myself even though it is way bigger then my size 2 I use to be.

  I am training for a 10k for Ottawa race weekend. I am up to almost 4 miles in 40minutes on the treadmill. I go to Mommy me yoga on Wednesdays and do my fit mom dvds while the baby sleeps on the days that I can't go to the gym or a run outside.  My next race is April 10th for persons with disabilities.

  I absolutely love being a Mom. He is the sweetest baby in the world. I show him off more then I did my unversity degree. He has a temper which is just too cute. He hates being wet, loves cuddles, my horrible singing, and his vibrating chair. He also likes the vaccuum cleaner. He is so good he even sleeps 4 hours at night. The hospital was so impressed with how quickly he learned to breastfeed and take a bottle that they took the ng tube out, that is how smart my little fighter is. Usually cardiac babies have trouble taking a bottle or nursing because they don't have the opertunity to until they are 3 weeks old. He did have a stroke, so there is some concerns about language development, his speech will be shifted to the left side but he will learn to talk slower then babies without health issues would.

  I know I might get some angry post from other moms for saying my baby is the best in the world but he is .

  Anyways, I will keep you posted on my wieght loss journey and struggles. Today is my day off because my long run was yesterday and my partner wants me to get our of the house so I am going to the movies with one of my girlfriends. I have trouble leaving my baby for long periods of time. Usually just that once a day for excercisng for an as I know it is important to be strong and healthy for his 2nd operation which will be in 2-4 months.

xs and os

 

Fallon

 

(Mommy brain moment; I posted this in the forms too. I thought that was the journal.oops.)

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