A humorous list of the most annoying people who like to get their om on
Yoga is about self-acceptance and embracing little quirks in others, but let's face it we've probably all found someone in our yoga class annoying. You may smile at them and even throw out a polite "namaste," but on the inside, you're rolling your third eye.
1. The Show-Off
Oh, you can do a handstand? Wow. Oh, you can do Scorpion Handstand with your feet on your head. Impressive. Wait, now you're folding into Lotus, lowering your knees onto your arms, and coming into some crazy Crow variation?! We get it. You're strong, flexible, and amazing. But do you need to show off all your Cirque du Soleil tricks when the rest of us are doing the humble Tree pose? Come on!
2. The Om-ing Exhaler
Every yoga class has some degree of group om-ing, chanting, and deep breathing, but it's the spontaneous and abnormally loud om-ing exhales, the huge sighs, and other random noises that really annoy. We get it, you're releasing and relaxing, but keep the feel-good noises that border on sex sounds to a minimum.
3. The Stink
Wash your clothes much? How about that towel? Ever heard of deodorant? I'm all for sweating buckets on your mat, but don't do it at the expense of others. Sweating in an enclosed small room with someone that has a bad case of BO is torturous. With all that deep breathing going on, they must notice the pungent smell, right? Pardon me if I pass out or lose my lunch.
4. The Helper
Whether you're a beginner or well-seasoned yogi, we can all benefit from a little assistance and extra knowledge. That is, when it comes from someone you trust and at an appropriate time. Who is this know-it-all Joe Shmoe you've never seen before, rattling off the Sanskrit names to poses, and springing off his mat to assist some young yogi with her Down Dog? It's not only distracting to everyone else, but I'm sure the teacher isn't too psyched either. This person borderlines on being called "The Know-It-All" or "The Flirt."
5. The Chitchat
Whether she's gigglng away to her neighbor, chatting it up with the instructor, or gasp answering her cell phone, she's doing more yammering than yoga-ing. In case you didn't get the text or voice mail message, I'll spell it out loud for you: stop talking and start breathing. You probably don't realize it, but we're all here to listen to our breath and the occasional gentle instruction from the teacher. If I wanted to hear chitchat, I'd unroll my mat in the middle of the food court.