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12 Thoughts You Have During Your First Pilates Class

When you find your way into a Pilates class as a Reformer virgin, it can be scarier than first time at kickboxing or yoga (at least that equipment is self-explanatory). Determined to expand my fitness repetoire, I attempted an "advanced" class with Pilates by Sylvia, and here's what happened.

1. I'm skeptical from the beginning. Pilates always kind of sounded like a made-up word to me.

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Who is this PIlate guy anyways? Is he like Plato?

2. What the hell is this medieval torture device and how the hell do I use it?

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Workout or cruel and unusual punishment? Answer: both.

3. And, OMG, these grippy toes socks feel weird, but are super cute.

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Can I get 10 pairs of these to wear instead of shoes? Is that socially acceptable?

4. Oh, wait, this is kind of nice...I get to lay down for the whole workout?

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Anything hortizontal equals way less effort.

5. Just kidding, we're jumping.

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I didn't even know is was possible to jump while laying down. My legs are burning. I think the left one might fall off.

6. Thank God, we're done; moving onto the upper body. Wait, which strap do I use? This one? No, this one?

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Do I have the handle the right way? Is it supposed to be this hard? I think I'm stuck.

7. Wow, everyone else looks like a ballerina doing this stuff.

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Their legs are so straight and their toes are so pointy. Why do I feel like an uncoordinated elephant?

8. My legs are shaky, my arms are on fire, and then the instructors says it's time to finish up with abs. A huge wave of relief washes over you (phew, almost done!)

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Then you realize that the abs session is the hardest of them all.

9. The Hundreds? Single-leg stretch? Table top? How can these be so incredibly hard yet I've never heard of them before?

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These things should have a terrible repuation because my abs just got slaughtered.

10. The instructor keeps me to keep going (and laughs at my face of agony) for an extra set or two.

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Then she finally says the words I've been waiting for: It's done. Thank goodness. But damned if I don't feel toned right now.

11. But now I feel pretty comfortable on my reformer. It's like my personal workout palace.

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You mean I can't stay and nap on this? It feels like my ~space~ now.

12. And I leave feeling the perfect amount of exhausted.

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My muscles are fatigued, but my body doesn't feel like a sack of bricks (like after some higher-intensity classes). Wait—I might actually feel energized. I see you Pilates, and I'll be back.

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