1. The embarrassing moment when your boyfriend finds the jar you keep stashed under your side of the bed...
"Oh, that? Hahahahah (kill me)."
2. You've tried to get on the almond butter bandwagon but just can't.
3. You feel a little nervous around people with peanut allergies.
You're paranoid that you're going to accidentally trigger a reaction. And even though you know allergies are not contagious, you'd rather not play with fire.
4. Your coworkers often find you eating PB straight from the jar at 3:00 pm.
It's hard to be taken seriously when you have peanut butter all over your face.
5. The struggle over deciding whether to pay more for individual packets (hoping it will help with portion control) or save money on a jar (knowing you'll eat the entire thing in three days)...
Go for the jar, you know you'll wind up eating multiple individual packets at once anyway.
6. Having a jar at home, a jar at work, and a jar in the car seem totally reasonable.
JARS FOR DAYS
7. When you realize you're going to run out of peanut butter before you run out of whatever food you're dipping with...
"Like I'm going to eat celery by itself."
8. You put PB on everything.
Bananas, ice cream, smoothies, burgers, especially these 10 Healthy Peanut Butter Recipes.
9. "Which flavor would you like?" isn't even a question if peanut butter is involved.
No decision has ever been easier.
10. The deflation you feel after biting into something you thought contained peanut butter but actually contained some other nut butter...
Whatever, cashew butter.
11. You can't relate to people who curl up in front of a rom-com with a pint of ice cream and a spoon.
Unless ice cream = peanut butter.
12. You have strong feelings about the different brands.
Peter Pan is a little sweet, Skippy is super-creamy, JIF has the perfect amount of salt, Justin's is a little sticky...
13. You really wish peanut butter fingers were a socially acceptable hors d'oeuvre.
Come on, like you've never done it.
14. You don't get when people argue about whether crunchy or smooth is better.
That'd be like choosing a favorite child.
15. Giving up and using your bare hand to get the last of the PB out of a nearly-empty jar...
And ending up with peanut butter smears up to your elbow, somehow.
16. George Washington Carver, the creator of PB, is your favorite person in history.
That is, until you found out it was all a lie.
17. You have a very specific way you like to scoop into a just-opened jar of the good stuff.
And you get irritated if someone messes it up.
18. You straight up distrust anyone who says they don't like peanut butter.
"I don't like the texture." Wha...????
19. The lack of a peanut emoji is a GD crime.
No, the honey pot emoji isn't "close enough!"
20. You laugh when people say peanut butter is healthy.
It is—but not at the rate you go through it.