Why women turn to eating and spending when they're unhappy
By Lynda Liu
Both eating and spending can serve as coping mechanisms that offer instant gratification and temporary distraction, says psychologist Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D., director of the Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute. They give women a sense of control (you decide what or when to spend and eat), and they offer comfort without the threat of rejection. "The cashier or the cookie won't say, ' Hey, you're too needy, I won't let you have this,' but a woman's partner might say, 'You're too needy. I can't give you this attention.' " Remember, not all shopping or eating is bad when it's done for comfort, says Alan Manevitz, M.D., a professor of psychiatry at Weill Medical College of Cornell University. It's OK to buy yourself a blouse that makes you feel pretty or cook yourself a nice meal when you're down. "It becomes a problem when somebody spends beyond their budget or eats unhealthfully and then feels bad and regretful about it," he says. If you find yourself falling into the food or shopping trap, here are a few things you can do: Don't live in a deprived state. "Women are running on empty and mistake their need for rest or support from their loved ones for being hungry for a bag of chips or a new dress," Kearney-Cooke says. Make sure you're getting your needs met in your relationships and caring for yourself. The better care you take of yourself, the better care you will be able to give. Find out what triggers your behavior. Keep a record of when you overeat or overspend, and talk to your friends and family about what they've observed about your habits, Manevitz says. If you feel the impulse to shop or eat too often, start replacing those urges with healthier behaviors. Do something else you enjoy, like reading or gardening. Make plans with a friend or loved one. Take a brisk walk or exercise. See a movie or make a spa appointment. Just make sure it's something that gives you pleasure.
