Tabloids everywhere are wondering when Prince Harry will pop the question to his girlfriend, Cressida Bonas. And while we’re also curious, we can’t help but feel for Cressida. After all, it’s tough enough to silently wonder when a proposal will happen without having millions of strangers wonder along with you. Here, four ways to deal with the pressure when you’re pretty sure a proposal is imminent. [Tweet these tips!]
Ask Yourself Some Questions
“Our society is so focused on weddings, but less so on marriage. Really thinking about your life after the wedding will help reframe what’s important and make you less focused on the ‘when will it happen’ question,” says Donna Dzwonkas, a Portland, OR,-based dating coach. You may find that deep down, you’re still getting to know your boyfriend, but part of you feels left out of wedding planning convos with your just-engaged coworkers. Sometimes, altering your mindset is enough to stop the stress.
Don’t Beat Around the Bush
Instead of expecting your guy to pick up on the subtext when you mention that your coworker got engaged only a year after she met her boyfriend, share your emotions surrounding marriage and make sure your guy feels free to share his thoughts with you, says Julie Ferman, a Los Angeles-based matchmaker and dating expert. “Having the topic on the table, even early in the relationship, will make the question much less of an issue for both of you.”
Talk About Timelines
If you and your guy see a forever future, make sure you’re on the same page as far as when you’ll make it official, says Judith Clare, a Los Angeles-based relationship counselor. “Letting him know you want to get engaged within, say, a year will put your expectations out there, and will open the door for a conversation if he has a wildly different timeframe,” says Clare.
Shut Down Nosy Questions
It’s hard to feel fine about your future when you’re fielding off a ton of “when will he propose?” questions. Knowing how you’ll respond, even if it’s with something as basic as, “I really appreciate your interest, but I know he’ll ask me when the time is right,” works well. If people keep pushing, simply repeat the line, says Ferman. “People will back off when they realize you aren’t going to say anything else on the topic.”