How to Let Go of Feelings for Your Ex
A past relationship often feels like a death according to Terri Orbuch, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great. "One of the hardest things to accept is the end of a romantic relationship," she says. And, with your heart and mind consumed by your ex, there's no chance of you finding the next amazing guy.
If you're still in love with your old boyfriend, purge him from your life. First, get rid of all the stuff you have that reminds you of him. Make a point of avoiding your old haunts and try to replace rituals you did as a couple with new ones.
Next, Orbuch says, ask yourself whether you truly miss him or if you're just lonely. Test it out: Write down five qualities that are important to you and see if they match what he had to offer. "The majority of the time, your ex didn't have what you need and want," says Orbuch. Still not convinced? Ask your friends and family for their view. "We tend to forget the negative and focus on the positive," says Orbuch. "But other people in our life don't."
QUIZ: Are you alone or just lonely?
How to Let Go of Clothes that Don't Fit
You might think that a wardrobe full of clothes that are too small is motivation to lose 10 pounds—but it's actually the opposite. "Those size 6 pants that will look perfect when you lose weight are about an imagined future where you're a thinner version of you," says Peter Walsh, author of Lighten Up: Love What You Have, Have What You Need, Be Happier With Less. "But they lead you to feel like a failure." Keeping a set of "fat clothes" is equally demoralizing, suggesting that you may gain weight at any point.
The solution isn't rocket science. "Go through every piece," Walsh says. "Ask yourself, ‘Is this adding value to my life right now?' " Be brutal. If the answer is no, donate it. By clearing out aspirational clothes, you free up space for pieces that make your current body look amazing.
MAKE OVER YOUR CLOSET: Organize your closet and your life
More on How to Let Go:
•"After My Divorce I Didn't Get Mad. I got fit." Joanne Lost 60 Pounds.
•How to Learn From Your Mistakes
•If You Do One Thing This Month…Clear Out Your Cell Phone