Reason 6: Unrealistic Resolutions
You may fantasize about your svelte new size-6 body or that six-figure job, but can you really make it happen before the year is out? "If you think you will lose 100 pounds in three months, this is not going to happen," says nutrition and fitness expert Erin Palinski. "You need to set a goal that is actually achievable in the time frame you set for yourself."
This also means being realistic with yourself and taking a hard, long look in the mirror. "Resolutions require changes in behavior, and most of us don't want to face that there is often a laundry list of changes to make," says Alabama-based clinical psychologist Josh Klapow. "So pick one you have confidence in and stick with it. It is far better to succeed at a smaller, more manageable resolution than to fail at a larger, loftier one."
Reason 7: No Plan
"The best resolutions are those that actually include a plan of action," says hypnotist Michael Ellner. Applebaum says people set themselves up for failure because they commit to a resolution, fully knowing they have no plan in place to actually achieve it.
"You need to create a plan that will help you achieve your goals," say Karena and Katrina, founders of ToneItUp.com. "Break your end goal down into smaller, weekly goals so you feel like you're working towards something immediate, and make a calendar with something to do every day that will get you closer to your desired result," they say.
Reason 8: Lack of Honesty
Are you truly committed to running a marathon, losing weight, or whatever else you are committing to do? Be honest with yourself. "Oftentimes we find ourselves committing to things because we think we should," Applebaum says. "Don't waste your time with that. You will only be disappointed in yourself. Make resolutions you actually want to achieve because you really want to and are actually going to put a plan of action towards," she says.
Reason 9: Wrong Perspective
While you may have the best intentions with your resolution, you could be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. Put it in perspective. "Rather than associating the New Year with resolutions or changes you need to make, consider it a time for reflection on things you wish to work on throughout the year," Applebaum says. "Quit dwelling on what you have not accomplished and focus on what you will accomplish instead."
Reason 10: Not Believing in Yourself
According to Beverly Hills psychotherapist Barbara Neitlich, sometimes all you need to keep going is a pat on the back—from yourself. "Congratulate yourself for your progress. The problem is that many individuals have a very black and white attitude. They see it as either you have achieved your goal or you have failed, but there is a grey area," she says.
If your goal was to send out ten resumes a week for a new job and you only sent out five, don't beat yourself up for it. "Rather, congratulate and reward yourself for making the effort toward your goal. That will give you the energy and stamina you need to continue achieving your initial goal," Neitlich says. And kill yourself with kindness, says Silber. "With friends, we often offer kindness, praise, warmth, and positive feelings, but most people don't speak to themselves that way. Commit to offering that same kindness and compassion to yourself."