WHEN YOU'VE GOT MAIL = YOU'VE BEEN DUMPED
Joanna Riedl, 27, adored the longtime friend she was dating but felt no romantic vibe. Unable to face him with the news, she ended the relationship via voicemail. It wasn't that she wanted to treat her guy badly; Joanna feared he'd feel emasculated if she told him in person. Soon after she hung up, texts flooded into her cell phone: "You broke up by e-mail?" and "How could you?" Turns out her tech-savvy boyfriend's voicemail-to-text tool delivered the message via e-mail. He forwarded the breakup message to friends for counsel. It soon reached the couple's entire circle winding up tacked to someone's fridge. Joanna rebuilt the friendship…eventually.

What Went Wrong?
When you rely on technology to do your dirty work, you leave everything from the interpretation to the delivery of your message up to chance. "You may think you're protecting the other person by allowing them to absorb the bad news privately," says Newman, "but what you're really saying is 'I only care about myself. I'm ready to move on'." You not only run the risk of hurting the person with a lack of sensitivity, your paper trail could lead straight to humiliation. In Joanna's case, technology turned what should have been a private conversation into a very public matter—and her reputation suffered.

Healthy Relationship How-To:
Break up face to face. Remember, heartfelt words can look callous in bold ink, but a warm voice and brush of the arm can do wonders to soften the "I'm crazy about you but it won't work" breakup blow.