Just because you're not flirting with anyone besides him doesn't mean he's not green-eyed. These innocent actions actually drive him crazy
He’s moody, irritable, and seems ready to turn any disagreement into a full-on fight. But you and he have been spending a ton of time together, and it’s not like you’ve been flirting in front of him—so what gives? Turns out, he may be jealous—even if there’s no seemingly good reason. Here, Isadora Altman, a San Franciso based marriage and family therapist sheds light on some surprising reasons he's green-eyed—and what to do about it. (Plus, don't miss The Male Brain on Jealousy.)
Been hitting the gym hard and achieving serious results? A 2013 study from North Carolina State University found that occasionally, one partner’s weight loss can negatively change relationship dynamics, especially if the partner who isn’t focused on shaping up feels like they’re being nagged. (Don't let it get that far! Read: 5 Reasons Good Relationships Go Bad.) Instead of pushing him to join you at CrossFit, suggest a low-key active hangout like a hike. And instead of turning down his suggestion to try the five-course tasting menu at the new bistro in town, try it out—and follow up in the next few days with a healthy but delicious recipe at home.
Turns out, a study from the State University of Buffalo found that same-sex friends can elicit feelings of jealousy in a partner, because they threaten the notion that your partner is No. 1 in your life. Remind him that he’s just as essential to your life as your girls.
Your guy knows there’s nothing between you and the male coworker you’re teaming up with for a project—but he still may feel weird if you and he have frequent lunchtime meetings. According to a study from Cornell, having a meal with a member of the opposite sex—even if it’s totally innocent—creates more jealousy from a partner than a coffee or drinks date. Remind your guy it’s no big deal or invite him along.
Checking your Facebook feed frequently can create jealousy in relationships, says a study from the University of Missouri Columbia. That’s because it can cause a domino effect: The more someone is on Facebook, the more the partner thinks there’s something going on there, which causes the partner to monitor his or her page—and potentially read into innocent comments of photos. The study found this is especially true in newer relationships, which is a good incentive for both of you to take a social media break as you get to know each other.
If you and he have similar hobbies, you both may occasionally incite each other’s jealous and insecure streaks. Both runners but can’t hit the pavement together without getting irritated by each others’ skill, that doesn’t mean you’re a bad match—only that you’re both incredibly competitive. Knowing your weak spots and being able to talk about them ensures jealousy won’t affect your bond.