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5 Things to Never Do After a Breakup

Don't Pretend You're Fine

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Let yourself mourn. Cry. Punch a pillow. Journal. Surround yourself with friends who listen. The temptation may be to pretend you’re unaffected by the breakup; don’t let pride get in the way of being real. You don’t have to sob at the office, but take some quiet moments to reflect and be honest with yourself. It’s okay to be angry, hurt or humiliated. It’s healthier to express yourself honestly than grow numb.

Don't Try to Be Friends

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Very rarely can a breakup lead to a solid friendship, and until you’re okay with the idea of your ex dating someone new—and vice versa—you’re not ready to be pals.

Create intentional space for a while and let yourself mourn the end of the relationship. If your ex is pushing for friendship, stand your ground if you’re uncomfortable with the idea. Right now, you’re not looking for a friend who looks exactly like the person who broke your heart.

Don't Get a Haircut (Or a Tattoo)

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Make no drastic changes for a while. It’s easy to make rash decisions post-breakups. One major change in your life can inspire even more change. If you have a tattoo-design epiphany in the days following heartache, wait a few months before acting on it. Wait until you’re emotionally back on your feet.

Hair grows back, but be warned: A bad bowl cut can hurt your already-bruised confidence. Don’t kick yourself when you’re down.

Don't Communicate

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You broke up last week, but you still have thoughts you want to process with the ex. You pick up your phone. Something makes you laugh on your way to work. Your first instinct? Text your ex about it. Don’t.

There will be times when it’s important to communicate with an ex. Maybe you need to return his things. Maybe you have to deal with a shared lease, or pet custody. Resist the urge, however, to call or text whenever you would have when you were still dating.

Breakups create voids. Ask a close friend if you can call him/her every time you would usually reach out to your ex. Recruit a support system of friends and family to help you fill the time normally spent with a significant other. Many people feel lost after a breakup; not because they miss their ex, but because so many of their daily habits once revolved around someone else. Give yourself some time to adapt to single life.

Don't Facebook Stalk Your Ex

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Social media can be dangerous when dealing with heartache. Give yourself two rules: Don’t post anything about the breakup drama online, no matter how vague, and resist the urge to stalk your ex. “Defriending” or at least hiding statuses can help you avoid the constant temptation to check in and see if your ex is living a life more miserable—or worse, more awesome—than yours.

For more tips on dealing with post-break up pain, click here!

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