Summer is finally here again, and if you’re single, the prospect of snagging a summer fling is even more exciting than the rising hemlines, iced coffees, and lazy days eating tacos at the beach. Whether you’re still boasting that Memorial Day weekend glow or itching to make the most of your first few summer Fridays of the season, here are eight ways the perfect fling will make your summer so much better.
Before you embark on a fling, make sure you’re both on the same page regarding your expectations. Just because you don’t see a future with this person after your tanlines have faded doesn’t necessarily mean they feel the same, and vice versa. Once you get that conversation out of the way, though, rest assured that you’ve just had the most serious talk you can ever expect to have with your fling.
After a long winter indoors, the arrival of the first true days of summer means everyone is hankering to get outside any way they can. As the invites begin rolling in to barbecues, beach trips, day drinking in the park, or a free outdoor concert, it’s nice to have the option of bringing along someone who’s game for anything.
If you’re anything like me, you tend to date people who have similar interests, values, and taste in things like books and music. But for the purposes of a summer fling, there’s no need to vet this person using the same standards you use for serious relationships, which leaves you free to shack up with someone completely out of your wheelhouse. If you find yourself intrigued by someone you’d normally never consider seriously dating, think of summer as a free pass.
A general rule of summer flings is that your life outside this person should remain more or less the same. The whole point of a fling, after all, is that you get to cash in on the fun stuff and not have to deal with any of the baggage that can accompany real relationships. That means sticking to your existing plans, making time to hang out with friends, and generally not rejiggering your life too much for your fling. Moreover, your fling should be perfectly okay with this.
If you’re entering the summer fresh off a breakup, at some point you might feel like every other person in the world seems to be part of a couple. Yes, it may be tempting to passive-aggressively “bump” against that couple furiously making out at the music festival so you can slop your beer on them. But why, when you could be investing that energy in some no-strings, summer fling sex? A fling serves as a great stand-in for those times when you want to live through all the best parts of a relationship while simultaneously getting your mind off the bad.
No matter how fleeting your time together, each new person you date will tell you a little bit more about what you definitely are or aren’t looking for in a serious partner. Even if you’re not trying to turn your fling into something more serious (which you shouldn’t be, unless you’ve both discussed this as a potential option), they’ll still be a source of valuable intel as related to your dating life at large.
A pre-determined relationship end date is one of those ideas that works out better in fling universe than it does in relationship/real-life universe. But when you get into a relationship that both of you know from the start is going to end, it means you’re more likely to spend the time you do have together on the good stuff, the memory-making stuff, the here-and-now stuff.
Yes, you should make sure you’re both on the same page about the nature of your relationship. But just because you both agree your fling is temporary at the start doesn’t mean you have to completely close the door on a future together should your feelings change. You never know—what starts off as a fling might be worth revisiting by summer’s end when you can’t imagine your post-Labor Day life without them.
This article originally appeared on The Date Report and was reprinted here with permission.