Turns out, most women share similar insecurities when it comes to their sex life
Sex can be stressful. From how often you do it to the size of your breasts and rear end, lots of women share the same concerns when it comes to getting it on, finds a New York Times sex analysis from the data scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz.
But what stresses us out the most? We've narrowed it down to the top eight concerns, according to the Times and several other studies and surveys. See? You're not alone in your fears! (Then, take a look at the 8 Surprising Things Affecting Your Sex Life that could explain why you are—or aren't—getting busy.)
Google searches involving the terms “sexless marriage” and “sexless relationship” rank near the top of coupling-related complaints, the Times data show. But take heart: you probably overestimate how much sex other people are having. The average American does it roughly once every 12 days—about half as often as the “once a week” schedule most married couples claim, the Times reports.
Failure to orgasm ranks among women’s top sex worries. But, according to research from Emory University, only about 10 percent of women “always” climax during intercourse. Why? The female orgasm isn’t tied to reproduction. So, in natural selection terms, there’s no compelling reason for you to orgasm, the Emory study authors say. Anatomy also plays a role. Women who report frequent orgasms tend to have a shorter distance between their clitoris and vagina than those who don’t often climax, says the same Emory report. (Guarantee one by trying out these 5 Moves to Orgasm Tonight.)
Americans search for info on breast implants about seven million times a year, and roughly 300,000 women get implants, Stephens-Davidowitz writes in the Times. But while many men love large breasts, that doesn’t mean your guy wants you to go under the knife. The Times data show married men are just as likely to ask Google why their wives want implants as they are to ask how to convince a partner to consider a boob job.
Many women worry their vaginas have an unpleasant aroma. The most common olfactory fear: a fishy smell. That’s followed by vinegar and onions, the Times data show. If you think you may have an odor issue, you may be cleaning your vagina too much, experts say. Improper cleaning or using harsh products may also be to blame. (Get The Down Low on Down-There Grooming.)
Concerns about your vagina’s appearance and tightness are also common, the Times report reveals. While the Google data doesn't suggest men care much about their partner’s vagina, experts say there are several ways to keep your lady parts tight and toned. Kegel exercises are your friends. Long bike rides...not so much.
Slightly more women than men—28 percent compared to 27 percent—say financial stress lowers their sex drives. That’s according to a Harris poll commissioned by the financial data company Yodlee. And whether you and your partner earn a lot or a little, money worries mess with your bedroom behaviors equally. About 27 percent of couples who make between $50,000 and $75,000 say cash-flow concerns reduced the amount of sex they had. The same was true for couples making more than $100,000.
Concerned your derriere may not be big enough? You’re not alone. While women used to ask Google how to make their butts smaller, that search trend has reversed course, the Times reports. During the past four years, women’s interest in ballooning their butts has tripled. In every state, women are more likely to ask Google how to grow their backside than they are to ask how to shrink it, Stephens-Davidowitz says. (Try these 6 Butt Exercises that Work Wonders.)
How you feel about your body affects both your sexual desire and how much satisfaction you get from sex. That’s according to two research papers from the University of Texas. So it’s no wonder many women stress about how they look naked. But chances are good you care more about how you look naked than your guy does. A survey from the research firm EyeTrackShop suggests men focus on faces, even when looking at photos of mostly naked women. (Boost your confidence with these 8 Ways to Fake Looking Like a Pro in Bed.)