“For most men, making their partners happy is the number-one way that they feel masculine and empowered, so when they know they are making you feel loved and cared for, they feel like the man,” Berman says. And guys say a little reminder here and there that you value them helps—especially since we’re all guilty of putting in a 10-hour-plus workday and nagging when we come home to a partner lying on the couch instead of cleaning up.
This doesn't mean you shouldn’t let him know when something isn't working or if you need him to step up more. But verbalizing more tokens of appreciation will make him feel like he’s doing a good job for you and in turn encourage him to step up to the plate even more. Berman suggests giving five genuine appreciations a day—even for the things he’s supposed to be doing, such as taking out the trash or picking up the dry cleaning. “I cannot tell you how many relationships have been turned around by this,” Berman adds.