For the first few months, you two couldn't keep your hands off each other and did it everywhere and anywhere. Now? You're starting to forget what he looks like naked.
According to a study by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, about 10 percent of married women in their 30s and 17 percent of those in their 40s haven't had sex in the last 90 days, and the numbers for unmarried couples living together are even higher. While it's reassuring that you're not the only one, many couples misinterpret that shift from crazy, electric passion to steady, calm feelings as falling "out of love" when, in reality, they are moving into a deeper, habit-forming love, which is where true love begins to take shape, says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., founder of Loveology University and spokesperson for TheExperienceChannel.com. Chemically speaking, the brain releases oxytocin, the "cuddle" hormone, which packs a double punch by generating a sense of relaxation while also lowering stress and cortisol levels in the body. Problem is, the resulting safe, comforting emotions aren't terribly exciting.
"Women are discouraged and mystified as to why they don't have desire, but they can have good desire their entire lives," says Laurie J. Watson, certified sex therapist and author of Wanting Sex Again: How to Rediscover your Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage. Sure, sex may not ever be beginning-stage crazy again (you'd never get anything done!), but reigniting those dwindling flames just takes a little effort and creativity.