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Is Everyone Else Having More Sex Than You?

Since everyone's favorite taboo topic—sex—is all over the movies, the internet, and TV (cough, Game of Thrones), it can make you feel a certain type of FOMO when everyone else seems to be getting in on except you.

So how often are other people actually having sex? And how often should you be having sex? It's not that simple; a recent study found that once per week might be the sweet spot for happy couples. Another study shows that the more often you get busy, the more positive feelings you might have towards your partner, while a different study shows that too much sex can actually backfire and hurt your relationship. (Want some anecdotal data? A sample of women in relationships get totally honest about their sex frequency.)

That's why we asked Shape sexpert Dr. Logan Levkoff for her opinion. The truth? It doesn't matter. First, you can't define sex in one way—it means different things to different people and different couples. Second, the frequency isn't as important as your satisfaction. If you and your partner need to have sex twice a day to both feel happy and satisfied, by all means, do it! If you're more a sex-for-special-occassions pair, that's cool too. Either way, sex is not a competition, says Levkoff. (P.S. Your personality—and your partner's—might actually influence how often you have sex.)

There's no need to compare your sex life to others if you're happy and satisfied with how it's going. And if that's not the case? Time to talk to your partner about what you want (and need!) in bed. (Don't worry, Dr. Levkoff has expert advice on how to do that too.)

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