Food Fight #4: "He Overfeeds Me to Show Affection"
When your sweetie surprises you with ice cream after an especially hard week at work, it's a special treat. When he buys you decadent desserts and salty snacks on a daily basis, it's overload. "Using food as a replacement for love is common," says Sass. "We celebrate with food on birthdays and holidays and even bring it to those who are grieving. When we eat for emotional reasons—to fill a void, distract us from problems or for comfort—it takes on a purpose other than sustaining our physical existence. In this case, therapy can help a person discover why food is being used as a coping mechanism."
The Fix: Recommend creative ways your partner can show affection without food. Tell him, "If you do the dishes, iron my clothes, fold the laundry or give me a backrub, that's a great sign of love!" (Of course, we're assuming you also wouldn't argue with jewelry or those $98 workout pants you've been looking at.) Agree to a no-food policy for special occasions and offer alternatives. Say, "Don't bring me chocolates on Valentines Day. Instead, write me a poem or buy me flowers."
LOW CALORIE DESSERTS: Guilt-free chocolate dessert recipes
Food Fight #5: "It Would Be Easier if She Ate Meat"
Scott likes steakhouses, wing shacks and hot dog stands. Rachel is a strict vegetarian. Pairing a hard-core carnivore with a passionate herbivore doesn't have to spell dining disaster. "A couple should be able to find some common ground, as long as they are both willing to give a little," Sass says.
The Fix: Keep a list of restaurants that offer foods you like but he doesn't (and vice versa), and then agree to visit these restaurants with friends who share your preferences. If you're lucky, a carnivore may give meatless options a try–it has happened! After Scott realized that Rachel's veggie burgers tasted good, cook quickly, and make him feel light and energetic, he put them on the top of his "shared meals" list.
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| Dec 08, 2010