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Have an Amazing Orgasm: Make Solo Sex Count

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Being selfish in bed is generally thought of as a bad thing. But in order to have a really great orgasm, you have to be relaxed and comfortable with your own body. And the only way to do that is to take the guy out of the equation and spend some time thinking solely of yourself. Yes—we’re talking about masturbating.

“One of the major benefits of masturbation (besides pleasure, of course!) is that women learn more about what pleases them,” says sexologist Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast. “The more you know that, the more you can share with your partner, and the more you can take control of your own satisfaction and pleasure.” (Don't forget to check out our other tips for boosting your O, starting with #1: Stop Faking It!)

Chances are, you’re already doing it, so we’re not about to give you a Judy Blume-esque 101. That said, there are little tweaks you can make to your regular routine that can take your one-on-one sessions to the next level, and even help improve the orgasms you have when you decide to bring a guy into the mix. Here’s where to start.

Slow It Down
Sometimes, you’re craving a fast, easy orgasm. And those can be amazing. But if your intent is a more intense climax, it pays to start slow. Lauren Streicher, M.D., author of Sex RX, recommends doing some of the same things you’d do before getting busy with a new guy: Turn on sexy music, slip on underwear you know you look hot in, read erotica or watch porn… Sure, it might feel forced at first, but the idea is to just do things that make you feel really, really turned on before starting to touch yourself. The less masturbation is just another item on your to-do list (make the beds, do laundry, touch yourself…), the better, Streicher says.

Way, Way Down
Okay, now you can grab that vibrator (or hand, pillow, or whatever else you prefer to use to get yourself off). But again, go slow, and mix things up a bit. “Vary the pressure and the way you touch your clitoris,” suggests Morse. “If you always move in a circular motion, try going back and forth, or lightly tapping.” You may find some new-to-you spots or moves to work into your usual repertoire. (Learn What Your Masturbation Style Says About You.) If you get close to climax, back off a little until the feeling goes away, then start again. This technique is called edging, and when you finally do let yourself go over the edge, your orgasm will be much, much stronger.

Give Him a Show
If you feel comfortable, consider masturbating in front of your partner. This is a win-win, says Streicher: Lots of men think it’s hot to watch, and while you're taking care of yourself, he’ll be able to see what you really like—and might even pick up some pointers he can use later, when you’re having P-in-V sex. (Then try these six other Kinky Upgrades for Your Sex Life.) 

Check shape.com tomorrow for our seventh orgasm-boosting tip!

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