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Patti Stanger: "What I've Learned About Love"

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Patti Stanger

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Patti Stanger
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If anyone knows what it takes to find the right mate, it’s matchmaker extraordinaire Patti Stanger. Stanger’s super-successful and hotly debated Bravo show Millionaire Matchmaker, based on her real-life matchmaking business the Millionaire’s Club and currently in its fifth season, can teach us all a few lessons about life and love. Watching Stanger work with her bounty of bad-boy millionaires is like watching a well-oiled machine. Her bold, no-nonsense style cuts through the shtick as she serves up her take on what it means to find love today. But underneath her confident, cut-to-the chase personality there is a kind-hearted, spiritual, loving person who deeply believes in the power and passion of true love.

eHarmony (eH): What do you think one needs in a partner to make a relationship successful?
Patti Stanger (PS): The three C’s: communication, chemistry and compatibility. Without that, a relationship is doomed.

eH: What should we acknowledge about ourselves before getting into a relationship?
PS: The fact that no one is perfect, lust can often fade and financial disagreements can break a relationship.

eH: What are the most common mistakes we make trying to find the love of our lives?
PS: We go on dates thinking that person is our future husband or wife, without getting to know them, as we live in a fantasy and an illusion of romance.

eH: Is it more important to love or be loved?
PS: One cannot exist without the other, so both. If you’re giving love and not receiving it, you’re not in the right relationship. If you’re receiving it and not giving it than you are taking advantage of the other person.

eH: Do you believe in love at first sight?
PS: Yes, I believe in past lives at first sight, meaning you probably know them from another lifetime and are having a déjà vu type moment where you recognize them.

eH: When would you say was the first time you really found love?
PS: Recently. I’m 51.

eH: What do you love about your life right now?
PS: That I’m comfortable in my own skin, that I’m incredibly honest, almost to a fault, and I can call the shots in my life without depending on others. Plus, I feel the sexiest I’ve ever felt.

eH: What does love mean to you now versus 10 years ago?
PS: It’s a deeper connection now than ever before, as I know we both accept each other for all our flaws and that I know this one will last.

eH: What is the hardest thing about love?
PS: Finding it.

eH: What advice would you give those struggling with self-love—and those who are still looking for love?
PS: Know that all it takes is one, and the secret recipe is to love yourself, have patience and know, without a doubt, it is on its way to you.

eH: You are in the unique profession and position to help people find each other and hopefully find love. What are the most satisfying and heart-breaking aspects to what you do?
PS: The best part about being a matchmaker is you are getting credits in heaven, as I really believe I work for God. The worst part is that matchmakers can often fix everyone up, all the way to the altar, but cannot find love themselves, so it is bittersweet.

For more on Patti, visit PattiKnows.com.

More from eHarmony:
Ask the Experts: What Makes a Man Fall in Love?
10 Ways to Know it's Time to Move in Together
15 Reasons to Date a Mechanic

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