8255.jpg

The Shape of Your Sex Life: The Naked Truth

Alt Text

Sex and Marriage

Title Text

The Shape of Your Sex Life: The Naked Truth

Myth #1 Everybody has mind-blowing sex on their wedding night.

The truth "This belief is so off base," says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and the author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong. "After the ceremony and reception, a lot of couples are tired or a little tipsy and have just spent a huge amount of energy making sure all of their friends and family had a good time. The last thing they feel in the mood for is a steamy night together between the sheets."

And while it isn't as common as it used to be, there are still people who decide to wait until after they get married to have sex for the first time. That scenario throws in a curveball. "You don't know each other's bodies yet, you're feeling a little awkward, and there's been a lot of buildup," says Schwartz. Add all of that to the mental and physical exhaustion you’re feeling from the day’s festivities and you’ve got a recipe for less-than-amazing sex.

But don't despair. "Whether or not you're intimate on your first night as husband and wife is only as important as you let it be," assures Schwartz. "Your wedding day should be all about the ceremony and the commitment you're making—you don't have to make love for it to be memorable." However, if you do decide that you want sex to be a part of your big day, plan ahead to make sure it goes smoothly. "In the same way that you and your fiancé have discussed your DJ, vows, and honeymoon, you should talk about what you expect to happen on your wedding night," says Rita DeMaria, Ph.D., the director of relationship education at the Council for Relationships in Philadelphia and co-author of The 7 Stages of Marriage. "Get on the same page by deciding not to drink too much and making sure that you leave the reception and head back to your room at a reasonable hour."

Next Page: Marriage and Sex

Comments
comments powered by Disqus