Stress Free Sex

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Stress Free Sex

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Stress Free Sex

Q. For years I had mind-blowing sex with guys I wasn't in love with. Now I'm with a man I love and want to marry, but I don't want to tear his clothes off. Is this relationship doomed?

A. Only if you keep comparing your boyfriend to those old flames. It's a sad fact, but unavailability may fan the fires of desire. "When a woman feels loved, then rejected, and then loved again—a typical pattern in unhealthy relationships—the sex will often be very passionate," says Schwartz. "What's fueling it is the uncertainty of when you'll get that attention again."

In the long run, says Schwartz, you'll be happier and more satisfied with a committed relationship and all that comes with it, such as trust, companionship, and a consistent stream of love and affection. And if you're attracted to one another and emotionally connected, the sex is only going to improve with practice. Try experimenting with new sexual positions, toys, and locations. "Make love on a beach or take a bath together," she says. "The idea is to create an entirely new kind of passion."

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