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Women Feel Horny at a Totally Different Hour Than Men

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If you and your man are having less sex than you'd like, it may be because you're out of sync—literally. According to a new survey done by sex-toy company Lovehoney, the clock may be to blame for all your missed connections: Men are horny most often in the morning, while women are in the mood more often at night.

The survey polled 2,300 adults and found that nearly 70 percent of women say they've been with a partner whose sex drive was a major mismatch with their own and that one big factor was the timing of their turn ons. Men reported that they prefer to start their day off right with a little nookie between 6 and 9 a.m. while women preferred to wind down with some lovemaking between 11 p.m. and 2 a.m. Specifically, men's desire peaked at 7:54 in the morning while women are horniest at 11:21 at night. (Check out these 8 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Sex.)

While we're a little dubious about their data—most people we know aren't so focused on when the clock strikes sexytime—the truth is, we've all experienced a moment when our partner wanted to get busy and we were too busy to bother (or vice versa). Thankfully, differing schedules and preferences don't have to be a death knell for your sex life, says Allison Hill, M.D., an ob-gyn at Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles and co-author of The Mommy Docs' Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy and Birth. Women, she adds, are particularly good at being flexible. Whereas men's desire is more direct, women have a lot more methods for getting in the mood.

"The current thought is that female libido is very complicated, but most of it is psychological. And usually it doesn't have much to do with the woman's partner," Hill says. "Instead, it is more about how the woman feels about herself and her sexuality." So a woman who feels confident and sexy in herself will be more open to sex, regardless of what the clock says. (Learn to Have an Amazing Orgasm By Building Confidence.)

Ditching the guilt about how much you want (or don't want) sex is another key component to having a great sex life, says Stephanie Buehler, Ph.D, author of What Every Mental Health Professional Needs to Know about Sex. "A woman's desire can be psychological, relational, or physical (or a combination of all three), and can change depending on what's going on in her life at the time," she says, adding that it's okay to say no thanks if you're just not feeling it.

But Buehler adds that many women want that closeness with their partner and simply want to want more sex. In this case, instead of waiting to be in the perfect mood to get busy, you may have to take matters into your own hands. "Women often don't feel desire until after they start foreplay with their partner," she says. "If that's the case, don't worry about it, just enjoy the way you feel." Even if that's at precisely 7:54 in the morning!

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