Step 2: Define the problem
Before coming up with solutions, you need to identify the real problem, says Linda Norman, M.S.N., R.N., associate dean at the School of Nursing at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tenn., and one of Alemi's research colleagues.

Say your favorite jeans are too tight. Instead of telling yourself you need to lose weight, Norman suggests you ask yourself a series of questions, such as "What's associated with the weight gain that's made my jeans tight?" (maybe the underlying problem is boredom at work or the pain of a bad relationship) and "What's contributing to my weight gain?" (maybe you don't make time for exercise, or you eat in response to stress and need to learn other stress-management techniques). "The more questions you ask," Norman says, "the closer you'll get to the root of the problem."

"It also helps to 'frame' the problem positively," Alemi adds. "For example, you might look at weight gain as an opportunity to get fit." Finally, it's important to define the problem in a way that lets you monitor your progress and measure the outcome by how well you're dealing with the triggers that cause weight gain.