At the beginning of this year, like many, I "resolved" to make some changes and lose some weight. I will be getting married next January after my fiance returns from his second deployment, this time to Afghanistan. I have been basically been following Atkins but on a healthier note, in that I am not eating as much fat as the program kind of insists on, I by no means consume a pound of bacon each morning.
After some weeks of good progress, it was one thing after another and trying to fit everything in within a 24 hour period was catching up with me. Finally, this week, other than the chronic pink eye I apparently have, my body finally feels good and I am healthy. I got rid of the really blah and achy feeling I was having, and a short episode with my back was not cool.I finally ran on Wednesday, it wasn't a long run or a hard run, it was just enough to get me back into a rythem which felt good.
I've also been doing ALOT of yoga, mostly to distract myself from everything that I've got going on lately, my fiance's looming deployment to Afghanistan has really been taking center stage lately so yoga has helped me in that aspect of trying to not focus on the things I cannot control. Those of you who have tried power or vinyassa yoga, know it is not just laying down and putting your feet behind your head like it seems to be percieved at times. It really provides some great toning and really does release negative energy. Istrongly suggest giving it a try if you haven't. I'm not a fan of the meditation-centered-type yoga, I like the strength challenges and the balencing poses that really force you to engage muscles that you may otherwise forget about.
Once upon a time, I was a competetive swimmer. I swam for some great coaches throughout my 15 year career. The last year that I swam competetively was my freshman year of college, 4 years ago.
I got back in the water yesterday too, my shoulders are feeling it big time this morning. I was excited though, I ended up having the whole pool to myself which was absolutly fantastic. There are few things in which I enjoy myself as much as when I am the only person in the water and all I can hear is my arms hitting the water. I've gotten back in the water a few times since I offically "hung up my goggles" and stopped competetive swimming and each time I find that I really do miss swimming. Yesterday was different though, it was like I came back home to where I was supposed to be, the water is where I belong, all the worries go away when I swim. It's hard to explain, however, I'm sure a lot of you understand what I'm trying to say. It's a feeling of going back to basics, back to what makes you feel good and rediscovering that feeling and not forgetting how good it feels to be truly happy with yourself and with what you're doing. I've said it many times before, that I'm going to train and get back into the world of competetive swimming, I only hope this time I can find the time to really devote my whole heart to it. At 23, I'm "old" in the world of competetive swimming but I have Dara Torres to look up to, I'll never be at the Olympics, that's for sure but I won't listen to "you can't." Now, I can shut out the outside, the new challenge is shutting out my inner thoughts that tell me "it hurts" and questions of "what are you doing?" "who are you kidding?"
With everything I've got going on, work, grad school, wedding planning, deployment, house hunting, job hunting, I am now understanding that it's okay to break down, it's okay to cry if I need to, even though I hte every second of it. I owe it to myself to not let it all get to me, I owe myself the right to be truly happy and to do what it takes to get to that place.
I promise all my posts will not be this long...it's just been a lot of pent up stress that know has been released, for today.