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Changing Bad Habits

I think it takes a really long time to change habits that have been second nature for so long. I was a slim, healthy and really fit kid, but went through a tormented 2 years of anorexia, starting when I was 13. It wasn't too bad for the first year, as my puppy fat turned to muscle with the sports I played. But suddenly, an huge drop in my weight got me to 30 kilos - I'm 5' 6 1/2".

Something snapped just before I turned 15, and I gained the weight back, but none of the confidence I had as a child. Since then, I've abused my body with sporadic exercise and binges. I hate excuses and never used to make them, but have come to the realisation that since I 'got better' I have continued to make excuses to justify these poor habits. I think, 'Well, at least my weight is healthy now, so it doesn't matter so much if my habits aren't.'

Wrong! I know that I have to be good to my body, but everytime I try, I undoubtedly end up binging or screwing myself over. At a little under 110 pounds, there is nothing wrong with my weight, but there is everything wrong with my food choices and exercise regime. I'm not even 20 yet, and I want my life back. It has become a fight again whether I'll have a good day - eat healthily, do some exercise and have fun - or a bad day - binge like the Apocolypse is coming (which without doubt entails at least 3000 calories), then feel much too full to actually exercise, so I end up feeling worse, lying around all day.

I know I sound like a sad case, and I really hate that with the priveledges I have, I abuse these and bandy around food like it is nothing. Knowing so many people live in poverty makes me feel dreadful about what I do. So this is my motivation for getting healthy.

Stop abusing food. It is just food - it isn't good, or bad, or an enemy.

Exercise for longevity and to feel better. Eat healthy foods in small portions often, and have a treat every so often.

You could open any dumb old nutritional book and be told those things, but I think sometimes it takes not being told, but working it out by onesself, to really 'get' it.

Wish me luck!


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