When it comes to getting your groove, on you might want to look to your girlfriends for help: A new study found that lesbians have more orgasms than their straight sisters.
The research, published this week in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, looked at data from more than 2,000 single people and found that unsurprisingly men have the most orgasms, regardless of sexual orientation. But when it comes to women, there is a much wider variety of experiences. Lesbian women reported reaching the big O about 75 percent of the time, straight women hit the headboard about 60 percent of the time, and bisexual women rocked the Casbah just over half the time.
The reason men are so lucky at getting lucky is straight-up evolutionary biology, says Justin R. Garcia, Ph.D., lead author and research scientist at The Kinsey Institute. "For men, orgasm is closely linked to ejaculation and thus may have evolved to promote human sexual reproduction," he says. "For women, there is not really any evidence that orgasm is associated with fertility." But just because they weren't necessary to preserve the species doesn't mean they're not necessary at all!
While not everyone wants an orgasm all of the time, Garcia says that lack of an orgasm is one of the most commonly reported sexual issues among women. So what are lesbians doing better than the rest of us? The researchers hypothesize that not only are lesbians more intimately acquainted with the workings of the female anatomy (we hope so!) but that their sexual encounters tend to last longer than heterosexual ones. Traditional gender attitudes and sexual roles could also play a part with how we're socialized to talk about sex. After all, if you don't ask, you can't receive.
But never fear, there is a workaround to this particular problem. Garcia says that since all female orgasms are less predictable than men's, it means all of us need to be a bit more detail oriented and better at saying what we need. "There is a great benefit for women in particular knowing their own bodies, their sexual responses and interests, and communicating this to their partner," he explains.
The key to better communication is getting to know each other both in and out of the bedroom and finding out your likes, dislikes, and idiosyncrasies. "Some individuals will say what they want in a sexual encounter or may be willing to say as much if their partner asks, but for others, communication may be nonverbal, with body language being key," Garcia says.
So know yourself, know your partner, take your time, and never be afraid to speak up about what you want.