I'm losing all faith in myself that I can do this. I have tried and tried and tried again and I always fail. It's really begin to depress me and make me think that I will be like this forever. I just had my first child and I gained 30lbs. I was already overweight for my height and now I weigh 180lb! I want to get down to at least 140. I just can't seem to control or motivate myself enough to do it and stick with it. I always make excuses for myself or say it's ok ill just start again tomorrow. I'm so sick of this. I want this to be the last time. I know that being healthy and fit is a complete change in everything I do and eat now and that its a lifestyle choice I must make. I'm starting right now because even though I have already eaten things that I shouldn't, if I say I will start tomorrow I won't. I have to be able to pass a physical fitness test in march so thats my deadline to being able to run 2 miles in 18 minutes. As for the weight, I know that it will take a while so I'm giving myself a whole year to lose 40 lbs. I already took measurements and weighed myself. I just need some help and positive words to help me stick to it. My husband doesn't understand, he thinks I'm crazy which is sweet but I know that if I dont get out of this rut and get a move on that I will only get worse and become more unhappy. HELP!