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Wish I Could See It

My husband makes it a point to compliment me every day on my appearance. He makes sure to tell me that I beautiful and I know that each time he says it he means it. I just wish I could believe him. I've never been one to take a compliment with a smile. Typically I laugh and say thanks, but I always feel like they're just trying to make me feel better, even if that's not how I truly look to the world.

I can see what I want to look like. I can see it clear as day. Curvy, but toned and in decent shape. Today I am very curvy, but not toned in any way possible. I look at myself and see every imperfection. I know that's a common trait among us women, but sometimes I feel like I do it more than most. I wish I could see myself through others eyes, especially my husbands.

I'm at a point in my life where I fell like I have hit my physical peak and not iw's all down hill from here. I want to be healthy so that I feel better about myself, but also because I want to get pregnant. My husband and I have started trying and I want to give us the best chance possible. I also want to bounce-back after pregnancy and have enery to keep up with our little one. I don't want to be the mom that's never in pictures with her children because she never liked the way she looked. I have a mother like that I my childhood is empty of photos with her. I want to be better and have a better outlook on myself and my life.

It's easy to say you want one thing and then do the complete opposite, especially when it comes to diet and exercise. I'm hoping to start my "transformation" with a new haircut and possibly some new shoes. Change the things I can to help motivate the changes for things a bit more difficult to correct.I know I'm beautiful. We're all beautiful. I just need to see it to believe it.


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