"I'm softer than I've ever been, including that unfortunate semester in high school when I simultaneously discovered Krispy Kreme and pot."

By Shape Editors
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This month, the beautiful and talented Olivia Wilde graces our April cover. In lieu of a traditional interview, we handed the reins over to Wilde and let her write her own profile. Tired of hearing how Hollywood's new moms "bounce back" so quickly after giving birth, the actress and witty writer got real about her body after baby: "I am not in perfect shape. In fact, I'm softer than I've ever been, including that unfortunate semester in high school when I simultaneously discovered Krispy Kreme and pot," she wrote. "The photos of me in this magazine have been generously constructed to show my best angles, and I assure you, good lighting has been warmly embraced. The truth is, I'm a mother, and I look like one." Love her real talk? It only gets better:

On the first weeks of motherhood: "First of all, you haven't seen your vagina in months, even though it's all her fault you're in this situation. Now that you can finally confirm that she is, in fact, still there, she isn't the gal that you remember, and would rather you back off and give her some space (and an ice diaper) for the time being, thank you very much."

On getting back in the workout groove: "If I wasn't at work, I just wanted to stay home and party with my little man-and by 'party' I mean, of course, endless rounds of the 'Itsy Bitsy Spider.' Also, I like beer. And pizza. And these two ingredients are not found in the purely fictional book I like to call How to Look Like You Never Made a Human: A Guide to Socially Acceptable Motherhood."

On her love of dance: "It's understandable that many of us are scarred by childhood ballet, but dance doesn't have to be scary, and in fact, can be the most fun you've ever had sweating your butt off. Which is why I'm a follower of Kristin Sudeikis, the queen of NYC dancercise and creator of 2Fly." Listen, baby or no baby, getting out of the house to exercise is a serious achievement. If you're going to haul your behind to a class, it's not going to be for anyone else; not your partner, nemesis, mother, or tabloid bloggers-just you. And your special relationship with your own damn fat cells. For me, the bottom line (pun intended) is that the workout is fun."

On her exercise philosophy: "I believe in a world where mothers are not expected to shed any physical evidence of their child-bearing experience. In that same world I believe there is space for exercise to be as much a gift to your brain as it is your body. I don't want to waste my time striving for some subjective definition of perfection. I'd rather rebuild my strength while dancing my ass off...literally."

For more from Olivia Wilde, and to see more moves from her exclusive workout dance workout, pick up the issue on newsstands March 30.

Comments (2)

Anonymous
March 24, 2019
The role of exercise is actually the most important and the most powerful, because - properly targeted body movements reverse the cause of muscular atrophy (flat, saggy muscle layers under the skin) - and by reversing muscle atrophy - the muscles get firm, lifted and push out against the skin - giving a smooth and toned appearance...and eliminating cellulite! When done properly - these body movements stimulate all 90 muscles in the female lower body. For more details on this please see ==> http://bit.ly/cellulitefreenow
Anonymous
February 5, 2019
Hi, let me tell you Helen's story. She is in her late 30's and she is a mom of 3 adorable children. She has always struggled with her weight especially after the birth of her third child, 6 years ago. She just stopped taking care of herself. That is one of the main reasons why her marriage fell apart, 3 years ago. Her husband didn't even want to look at her naked for years. He actually told her that he felt betrayed. And the worst part? She also felt that she betrayed herself. She was feeling ashamed, guilty and embarrassed, which made her too weak mentally to be able to lose weight. Continue here >>> https://bit.ly/bodyweightprogram