Chrissy Teigen Expressed How "Proud" She Is of Her Body After Her Pregnancy Loss

"Even though I'm no longer pregnant, every glance in the mirror reminds me of what could have been."

Chrissy Teigen attends the 2019 Baby2Baby Gala presented by Paul Mitchell on November 09, 2019 in Los Angeles, California
Photo: Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for Baby2Baby

Back in September, Chrissy Teigen shared the devastating news that she and husband John Legend had lost their third child, Jack, after a series of pregnancy complications. Three months later, she's opening up about the journey her body has been on since then.

"This is me and my body, just yesterday," Teigen wrote alongside a full-length mirror selfie shared to Instagram on Wednesday. "Even though I'm no longer pregnant, every glance in the mirror reminds me of what could have been. And I have no idea why I still have this bump, honestly. It's frustrating." (Related: How I Learned to Trust My Body Again After a Miscarriage)

Despite the sadness that Teigen said she feels, the mom of two also took a moment in her post to share the pride she has in herself for remaining strong, both mentally and physically, in the face of such a heartbreaking loss.

"I'm proud of where this entire journey took my body and mind in other ways," she wrote. "I love being pregnant, so so much, and I'm sad I never will be again. But I am so lucky to have two amazing little ones who are transforming into big little people more and more every single day."

Teigen went dark on social media for a while after losing Jack, but overall, she's been open with fans about the entire experience, from the complications she endured throughout the pregnancy to how she's been doing after the fact. (Related: Returning to Self-Love — and Sex — After Miscarriage)

Initially, Teigen was posting updates mostly from her bed, sharing that she was on mandatory bed rest due to excessive bleeding from her placenta. Eventually, though, Teigen told followers that she had to be hospitalized to control the bleeding. She even revealed that she'd received multiple blood transfusions during her hospital stay. Shortly thereafter, Teigen said that the transfusions weren't enough to save Jack.

ICYMI, when Teigen shared the news about Jack, she posted intimate black and white photos from the day she lost him on Instagram. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before internet trolls flooded her social media accounts with invasive questions about why she'd share such personal details from her experience. But, in true Teigen fashion, she responded to the criticism with a powerful essay about her pregnancy loss.

"I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it's something you wouldn't have done" she wrote in the essay, published on Medium. "I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren't for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me." (Related: Chrissy Teigen's Honest Account of Her Pregnancy Loss Validates My Own Journey — and So Many Others')

Since then, Teigen has been equally honest about how she's been doing after her pregnancy loss. In November, she tweeted that she was "in a bit of a grief depression hole," but noted that she has "so much help around" her to get better.

Though she (understandably) may not have "putting-on-pants energy" these days, Teigen's willingness to share her truth — whether she's posting tearful selfies and joking that it's a "post-therapy face filter" or sharing her feelings about her body and what she's gone through — no doubt helps others who have gone through similar experiences feel less alone.

As Teigen wrote in her essay: "I beg you to please share your stories and to please be kind to those pouring their hearts out. Be kind in general, as some won't pour them out at all."

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