The Instagram commenter said she was "annoying."

By Faith Brar
Updated: April 10, 2019
Photo: Instagram/@hilariabaldwin

Hilaria Baldwin is known for being open and honest with her followers on Instagram. The mother of four has previously been candid about what a post-baby body actually looks like, not to mention how "snapping back" is an unrealistic expectation. She's also shared her struggles with disordered eating in the past, and how one rude awakening taught her to put her health first. Most recently, though, the avid yogi took to Instagram to deliver some potentially heartbreaking news: She might be going through a miscarriage.

"I want to share with you that I am most likely experiencing a miscarriage," Baldwin wrote alongside a picture of herself holding her tiny baby bump. "I always promised myself that if I were to get pregnant again, I would share the news with you guys pretty early, even if that means suffering a public loss."

Baldwin wrote that she felt compelled to vocalize such a private matter because she feels it's time to remove the stigma surrounding miscarriages. "I have always been so open with you all about my family, fitness, pregnancies...and I don't want to keep this from you, just because it isn't as positive and shiny as the rest," she said.

Baldwin went on to share why she felt she knew her pregnancy was likely not viable. "So, this is what is going on now: The embryo has a heartbeat, but it isn't strong, and the baby isn't growing very much," she wrote. "So we wait-and this is hard. So much uncertainty...but the chances are very, very small that this is a viable pregnancy. I have complete confidence that my family and I will get through this, even if the journey is difficult." (Related: Here's Exactly What Happened When I Had a Miscarriage)

At the end of her IG post, Baldwin asked people to be kind in the comments section, adding that it wasn't easy to share something so difficult with the world. "I'm feeling a bit fragile and I need support," she admitted. "I'm hoping, that by sharing this, I can contribute to raising awareness about this sensitive topic."

But, because social media is, for better or for worse, a platform for all opinions-both good and bad-someone tried to shame Baldwin for being so open about her personal struggles. "Nothing is private anymore…good god you're annoying…" the person wrote in the comments, as reported by TODAY.

Baldwin immediately responded by asking a simple question: "Why are you on my page?" she wrote, adding, "I would suggest that you go through and read even just a handful of comments from people who have experienced the same thing. And maybe your heart and compassion will grow."

A few days later, Baldwin sat down with Hoda Kotb and Savanna Guthrie on TODAY to talk about how she found out about her possible pregnancy complications, as well as how she's been feeling since publicly disclosing such personal news to the world. (Related: How I Learned to Trust My Body Again After a Miscarriage)

She explained that she knew something was off when, during a routine check-up, her ultrasound technician was unusually quiet. "The silence makes you very nervous," Baldwin said. "And this technician, she just kept being quiet and kept on trying to find the heartbeat. She could find it and she'd listen to it and hear it, [but it was] very spread apart and slow. She said to me that the heartbeat is not very fast. Then I went in again, and in the life of an embryo - days, a week - it's completely different. And it was the same."

As for why she chose to share the news on social media, Baldwin said that transparency has given her some relief in an otherwise stressful situation. "Secrets are only scary when they're secrets. Once you let the secret out, it's not so scary anymore," she said. Plus, Baldwin said she feels it's important to share her experience with the world because "it's something that so many people deal with," oftentimes completely on their own. "As women, we're trained to deal with it silently," she explained. "You're definitely not supposed to say something until 12 weeks. And some of that is because people are superstitious or that's how they feel they're going to be stronger. And a lot of it, for other people, is fear. And I don't think that we have to live with such fear."

Baldwin also wrote an essay for Glamour this week on why she chose to talk openly about her potential miscarriage on Instagram, in which she said that she wants women to know, above all, "there is nothing wrong with you," and that you don't have to "behave a certain way, or share a certain way, or hide a certain way." She wrote, "You are not alone. I know this didn't happen because I did something wrong. This is just nature. Sharing allowed me to feel heard and helped me receive support and wisdom from other women who have experienced the same thing."

Shortly after appearing on TODAY, Baldwin confirmed her miscarriage in a new Instagram post. "There was no heartbeat today at my scan...so it's over," she wrote alongside a photo of her and her family. "But I have some pretty strong and amazing heartbeats right here. I am surrounded by such love and I feel so fortunate. Thank you all for listening, for your support, and for sharing your own personal stories. We are stronger together."

Sadly, many women who suffer from miscarriages tend to put much of the blame on themselves. "There is an element of grieving, but you can't blame yourself," Iffath Hoskins, M.D., a clinical associate professor in the department of obstetrics and gynecology at NYU Langone Health, previously told Shape. "It's Mother Nature's way of saying this pregnancy wasn't meant to be, and in most cases, there's nothing you could have done," she said.

But when celebrities like Baldwin use their platform to raise awareness, it lets other women know they're not alone. So hurtful comments aside, she deserves to be applauded for sharing her journey and providing a much-needed dose of reality.

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