The singer opens up about some dark times in her life, plus how she learned to ignore criticism and accept her body.

By Faith Brar

Kelly Clarkson is a talented singer, body-positive role model, proud mother of two, and all-around badass woman-but the road to success wasn't smooth. In a surprising new interview with Attitude magazine, the 35-year-old opened up about mental health.

"When I was really skinny, I wanted to kill myself," she said. "I was miserable, like, inside and out, for four years of my life. But no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense."

After winning American Idol's first season in 2002, Clarkson became a household name, which brought years of unwanted scrutiny-especially when it came to her weight. "It was a very dark time for me," she said. "I thought the only way out was quitting. I, like, wrecked my knees and my feet because all I would do is put in headphones and run. I was at the gym all the time."

She adopted a healthier approach when she released My December in 2007. "There's a song on My December called 'Sober,'" Clarkson said. "There's this line, 'picked the weeds but kept the flowers,' and I just live my life by that because you are who you surround yourself with."

"I was around some really negative people, and I got out of it because I had a lot of great people there, too," she recalled. "It was a case of turning around, facing them, and walking toward the light."

Over the years, Clarkson has made it very clear that she is happy and proud of her body and has learned to stop caring about the scale. "I don't obsess about my weight, which is probably one of the reasons why other people have such a problem with it," she says. "There are just some people who are born skinny with a great metabolism-that is not me. I wish I had a better metabolism, but someone else probably wishes they could walk into a room and make friends with everyone like I can. You always want what someone else has."


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