1. You *refuse* to be seen without the latest brand-name, Bluetooth, smart headphones.
How else can you blast away all the haters and get your ~pump~ on?
2. Ditto for your uber-expensive workout clothes.
Even your underwear is Lululemon.
3. And you can only lift in Converse, of course, because that's what all real weight lifters do.
Old-school All-Stars FTW. And you have them in every color, to match all your outfits.
4. You leave your dumbbells right where they are after a set. Cleaning up is for the staff, obv.
5. And re-racking your weights? That's for commoners.
They hire staffers for a reason, you guys.
6. If someone asks to work in with you on a bench or squat rack, you act apprehensive until they get the idea and walk away.
Sharing? With a stranger? No thanks.
7. You don't hesitate to give free and unsolicited form tips.
You might not be certified but you have tons of experience, so it's totally legit.
8. People might be waiting to use the equipment you're on, but you're so close to getting the perfect selfie.
They can wait.
9. You call dibs on several in-demand pieces of equipment at once, in the name of supersetting.
Can't they see that you're alternating every 10 minutes? They can wait their turn.
10. The signs that say "don't drop your weights" and "please wipe your sweat off equipment" clearly don't apply to you.
They mean the people with the reallllllly heavy weights and the reallllly big piles of sweat.
11. You make sure you're always in a spot where you can stare at yourself in the mirror.
Watching your progress is the best motivation, right?
12. And because you work *damn hard* for your body, you wear as little clothing as you want.
That "shirts required" rule is for people who aren't as hot as you, duh.