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The 14 Stages of Starting a New Workout Program

1. You hate it at first. Like, really hate it.

Octopus Nope

This is all so new and different and I feel awkward doing that move and I just want to go back to my couch please.

2. Once you finish the first workout, you realize it wasn't so bad.

Jennifer Aniston Nod

Actually, it was pretty fun. I think I want to keep doing this.

3. The next day you're sore in all the weirdest places.

Everything Hurts

I didn't know I had muscles on my ribs. How did I even work those?

4. It slowly becomes the absolute highlight of your day (and you don't want to do anything else).


Real life is when you're working out. Everything else is just pretend. (Work? LOL.)

5. And you realize you're getting some serious results.

Anchorman I Look Good

Is it just me or is my butt perkier? Also, who knew I had some abs in there?

6. You get crazy excited when you hear someone else talking about it.

Conan O

Did that guy over there just say P90X?

7. And if you hear them talking it down? Um.

Lady Gaga Excuse Me No

You can go shave your back now.

8. In fact, all your conversations circle back to your new workout.

Jenna Maroney Not Talking

#SorryNotSorry it's the best part of my life right now. Just let me be happy, OK?!

9. Every friend, family member, and random stranger becomes a potential convert.

Broad Street Singing

Come, my children, and join me in this magical workout land. You will never want to leave.

10. You can't help but buy *all* the coordinating gear.

Clueless Shopping

Workout tanks with punny slogans? Check. Specialized shoes? Check. Logo water bottle? Check.

11. You become BFFs with the instructors (either on social media or IRL).

Mindy Project Best Friend

Now you have someone to text 24/7 about your workouts (to the enjoyment of your friends and family who finally get to stop listening to you).

12. After too many sessions to count, you feel like the Queen Bey of whatever you're doing.

Queen Beyonce

I OWN this. Bow, bitches.

13. The thought of being done with the program makes your entire life feel worthless.

So Lost

Is there even a point of living? No other workouts will ever compare.

14. So you vow to keep doing it over and over, for the rest of your fitness life. And nothing makes you happier.

Yas Dance

If it ain't broke, don't fix it—am I right?


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