The Not-So-Zen Thoughts You Definitely Have During a Hot Yoga Class
Let's just say the temp of your words is about as high as the temp in the room.
Yoga is supposed to be this super ~zen~ experience full of mindfulness and self-reflection and stuff, right? Except for when any normal human shows up at hot yoga and, understandably, kinda wants to die. The things going through your head during a 90-minute yoga class in a 105° room are not always going to be chill. Despite all the "ugghhhh," there's a reason you go back for more; Earning that final Savasana feels so damn good. (And, really, here's what exercising in a hot room does to your body.) To perfectly illustrate that love-hate relationship of hot yoga, we've recruited the internet beings that are the best at telling it like it is: cats. If you can't relate to these furballs, have you even been to hot yoga?
1. HOLY #*& this room is hot as balls.
2. I think I'll put my mat right here...
Oh, it's taken? And this spot too? All right, cool, looks like I'll go behind this pole...
3. OMG, ew, I should have gotten a pedicure.
Looks like I missed a pretty large strip of hair on my leg while shaving too-nice.
4. Is the instructor looking at me? No, she's just making her way around the room, totally normal!
No, no, nope... she is definitely headed over here. Play it cool.
5. Um, ma'am, I really don't think I can go any farther.
You realize you now have my sweat allllll over your hands, right?
6. Okay, definitely feeling a little toasty but we're chillin', we are fine.
Cool as a cucumber right now.
7. You know, I'm pretty sure my body is not capable of stretching like that.
Oh, look. Now I'm stuck. Greeeat .
8. There is sweat coming out of every inch of my body, including my eyeballs.
9. "Om you are an enlightened lotus flower of light; om you can do this."
Maybe it's time to switch to a meditative yoga flow.
10. I would give my firstborn for a sip of water.
Come on. You are not weak. You do not need water. (But actually, yes you do. Please drink plenty of water.)
11. Praise the yogi gods-time for Savasana. Oh yeah, I am killing it at this pose.
See this, everybody? This is how you do it.
12. CRUSHED IT. I should do hot yoga more often.
I bet I'll totally be able to do a handstand by the end of next class.