15 All-Too-Real Struggles of Having a Coffee Addiction
Just a girl constantly in search of a caffeine buzz
1. Coffee is the only reason you get out of bed. Ever.
Bed is bae, but coffee is VIP bae.
2. That instant panic when you wake up on vacation or at someone else's house and you don't know where you'll get your caffeine fix.
And if they utter the words, "I don't drink coffee," you might as well keel over and die.
3. You can't trust anything that comes out of your mouth until you've had your first cup.
Morning Pre-Coffee Disease symptoms: seriously impaired judgement, slurred sentences, lack of coordination, etc.
4. You're not sure if you should be proud or ashamed of exactly how much you drink a day.
Haters can judge. They're just jealous of your buzz.
5. When you see people on TV or in movies sipping a cup, you instantly crave it.
Salivating for coffee is a real thing.
6. You know exactly how you like it-which means trying all the fancy new drinks at Starbucks isn't your vibe.
I want to like that new honey latte, but my mouth only wants bitter, black brew. (Starbucks emojis, though? I'll use all of those.)
7. Some people treat themselves to fancy lunches or getting their nails done-you spend all your extra dough on cold brew.
#worthit (BTW, you can easily DIY cold brew.)
8. You have frequent, coffee-induced insomnia because you can't stop drinking it in the afternoons.
The time for coffee should be all the time! I refuse to limit myself!
9. Decaf just seems like a sad, cruel joke. LOLOLOL.
It's like going to get a burger and only eating the bun.
10. You aren't snobby about what kind of coffee it is-when you need it, you need it.
Street coffee, Starbucks, Dunkin', McDonald's, it's allllll good.
11. Even when you're running super late, coffee is your first priority.
Coffee is the most important meal of the day.
12. So, naturally, you have coffee stains on, like, everything.
Walking and drinking is a skill no one will ever master.
13. And you're constantly in search of a bathroom.
Because nothing makes you have to pee like downing a large iced latte.
14. You crave the buzz you used to get when you first started drinking it.
Now, you're like an old, washed-up drug addict that needs the whole pot to get a kick. (P.S. Here's the truth about your body ignoring caffeine.)
15. Every once in a while, you toy with the idea of laying off the joe in the name of your health or something...
Then you just laugh because what is life without coffee? (Also, it can help you crush your workouts. BAM. Drink up.)