The most soothing voice, the most profane words—finally, a guided meditation for modern yogis! (NSFW)

By Rachael Schultz
July 09, 2015
Corbis Images

You've tried guided meditation, but someone telling you to "empty your mind" and "let any thoughts and tension drift out into the ocean that is your mind" just doesn't speak to you. What if they told you to "breathe in strength, and breathe out bullshit"? Or to "let the horseshit of the external world fade from your awareness"? Now that's some guided meditation we could get on board with.

A new zen video (arguably one of the most enjoyable) called "F*ck That: A Guided Meditation" offers a realistic take on why we all need to sit still and ruminate: to find an inner peace where "bitches can't get under your skin."

In the most soothing voice you've ever heard NSFW words spoken in, filmmaker Jason Headley helps to settle your soul while keeping it real. "If your thoughts drift to the three-ring shitshow of your life, bring your attention back to your breathing," he says in the same tone your yoga teacher uses to gently bring you out of savasana.

Not surprisingly, Headley is not actually a meditation teacher. He seems to have married his career with his upbringing-he hails from "a long line of yarn-spinners and bullshitters"-to help make the unequivocally beneficial habit of meditation accessible to those of us in the real world. (Proof: 17 Powerful Benefits of Meditation.)

Our only complaint? That he doesn't guide us for longer than two-and-a-half minutes.