This Trainer Tried to Body Shame a Woman Into Buying His Services
"You can accept how you look but you can't be happy with the way you look."
Losing weight was the last thing on Cassie Young's mind when her boyfriend of nine years asked her to marry him. But shortly after announcing her engagement, the 31-year-old digital director at The Bert Show was approached by a trainer on Twitter who offered to help her "shape up," for her big day.
At first, Cassie politely declined, but the man continued to relentlessly push his services on her. It eventually got to a point where Cassie felt humiliated and decided to share the interaction on Facebook to draw attention to the body shaming. (Related: People Are Taking to Twitter to Share the First Time They Were Body-Shamed)
"Congratulations on your engagement," wrote the man, whose identity Cassie chose to keep private. He continued by listing his credentials and asking Cassie to hire him to lose weight for her wedding.
Thinking nothing of it, Cassie responded: "I am in shape! Thank you so much for the offer, though."
That would have been a great place to end the conversation, but the man reached out to her again, pressuring her to lose weight. (Related: Julianne Hough Has No Interest in Dieting Before Her Wedding)
"I know you want to look your best on your wedding day," he wrote. "If you don't hire me, hire someone. Those pictures last centuries. Your children's children's children will still have those pictures."
Shocked by the response, Cassie decided to stand up for herself and told the man about her personal struggles with body image, hoping that would get him to leave her alone. "I know it's probably hard for you to understand this, but it's taken me a long time to love my body," she wrote. "I'm constantly shamed or reminded that I'm heavy and I should be embarrassed-or people are embarrassed for me-or just straight up rude, calling me 'disgusting.' I've battled past all that and like myself and how I look."
The man was quick to respond saying: "You can accept how you look but you can't be happy with the way you look. You can't lie to yourself... I just wish the whole big body acceptance people would accept the fact that they are not happy with their bodies." (Related: High School Principal Caught Telling Students They Shouldn't Wear Leggings Unless They're a Size 0 or 2)
Cassie had enough. "I'm sad for you that your self-worth is wrapped up in your appearance," she said. "You clearly place a lot of stock in looks but fail to understand that not everyone wants to be chained to that insecurity."
She added that he was, in fact, a part of the problem and she refused to play a part in his game. "I reject your notion of operating on superficiality and looks, and I embrace my inner health goals."
Cassie hopes that by sharing this conversation she might be able to help someone who's been preyed upon because of their insecurities. "Your inner-value and self-worth comes from YOU, not what you look like," she wrote alongside the post. "Who gives a f**k if you got a few extra pounds. Or ten. Or twenty. Thirty. Whatever. If you are happy and healthy, that's ALL that matters."