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Watching Her Son Almost Get Hit By a Car Inspired This Woman to Lose 140 Pounds

My weight is something I've struggled with all my life. I was "chunky" as a child and labeled the "big girl" in school—the result of my toxic relationship with food that started when I was just 5 years old.

You see, that's when I was first sexually assaulted.

I was molested by a family member and it went on for quite some time. The stress and trauma led me to start binge eating. I would jolt out of bed from night terrors and turn to food for comfort to help nurse me back to sleep. 

As if what was happening at home wasn't difficult enough, I was also molested by an older boy in our neighborhood when I was 6 and was later raped by a boy in high school. (Related: Ballet Helped Me Reconnect With My Body After Being Raped—Now I'm Helping Others Do the Same)

 

WEIGHT LOSS Some companies will preach to you that they have the magic pill or supplement that is going to make you lose body fat. Just sit back relax and let it do its thing. Or some companies out there will try to get you to buy into expensive programs with their expensive supplement lines and cookie cutter nutrition. So I’m here today to set it all straight because I was once too a believer in magic pills and the next fad program. I was so desperate that I would throw whatever money I had them hoping that their revolutionary product or program was going to work for me.  Quick fix programs and products pray on the desperation of people who are in real need, and instead of offer a viable solution that will help change lives, they offer broken promises and a empty bank account. I know because I was one of those people. Now being in the position that I am and having the knowledge that I do have, I recognize bullshit from miles away.  There are no magic pills that will do the work for you. Not every program or nutrition protocol is going to work for every person or is it sustainable for life long success. The only real way to reach your health, fitness and life goals is dedication, hard work, consistency, grit and the openess to learn/grow. You just have to come to terms that it’s going to be hella hard but so damn worth it. Wouldn’t it be more satisfying to say, “YES I DID THIS! ME! I DID!”? I know every single person out there has the ability and inner strength to do it.  Sure there are supplements and programs that are good and help. But they are still not magic. No fat burner can actually burn fat. No supplement can do that. Sure you can increase energy to help you lift more, workout more intensely but that is as far as it goes. They still can’t do it for you!  So that brings me to why I do what I do. My passion and mission in life is to help people do on their own, build confidence, ditch the fad diets, and be powerful in their true power. To see someone succeed by doing the work is the best feeling ever as a coach! Leggings & Crop top @buffbunny_collection #transformationtuesday#weightlosstransformation#coach#transformation#weightloss#obesetofit

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While no one knew what I was going through, in some ways, I was like most girls in high school. I was always trying to get "skinny" and tried every weight-loss trick. But at the end of the day, I could never control my addiction to food and kept eating in secret—spending my entire allowance on junk food and hiding it.

Because of my size, I experienced a lot of bullying and continued to turn to food for comfort. Throughout my teens, I would go through cycles of emotional binging and restricting. When I felt extremely anxious and depressed, I would binge, then starve myself for four days to "punish" myself. (Related: Why You Should Give Up Restrictive Dieting Once and for All)

Combined, all of these things left me with zero self-confidence or self-worth. I felt damaged and often kept to myself—afraid that the other kids would find out what had happened to me, which could make the bullying even worse.

 

Depressed and obese  Happy and healthy I know for many of us who are struggling with out health and weight feel like there is no way out. That it can never get better. My left photo was one of the first days weight training ever. I knew when I sat down at the weight machine that I wanted this change so badly that I would do anything to get out of it. That meant doing things I have never done before. Often when we get stuck we feel there is no way out because we keep doing the same things over again. You have to do something different. Something that scares you. Shake it up!  There also comes a time you have to ask yourself what you deserve and what you are willing to do to change your own life.  You deserve to live your life fully and freely, happy and healthy. You are worth it!  So what’s holding you back? What limiting belief are you telling yourself?  Tell me below and let’s work it out together  . .. ... .... #transformationtuesday#transformation#weightlosstransformation#bodybuildingtransformation#weightloss#fatloss#weightlosstories#bodybuilding#womenwholift#valueyourself#liftheavy#healthylifestyle#fitnesslife#fitnessmotivation#weightlossmotivation#weightlossinspiration#withferocity#reclaimyourbadassery#100to0#inspire#motivate#cultivate#faithoverfear

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My reliance on food and disrespect for my body continued even after I got married and had my son. When he was about 3 years old, he was playing at the park down the street from our house. We were playing tag, and he was chasing me, but as I was running away, he decided to turn around and started bolting toward the gate. I couldn't catch him because of my size, and he ran out of the gate and onto the road, where a car screeched to a halt, stopping within a few inches of him. (Related: How Having a Daughter Changed My Relationship with Food Forever)

He didn't get hit and wasn't hurt, but my heart dropped to the ground. The guilt I felt made me feel like the worst mother. To this day, I can remember so clearly the panic and frustration I felt knowing that I couldn't keep up with my own child—to the point that his life was put in danger. At that moment, I knew I didn't want my habits to affect him negatively ever again, and I wanted to teach him to live a healthy lifestyle. The only way to do that was to lead by example.

So, I hired a trainer to help keep me accountable and on track, which is something I'd never done before. I wrote sticky notes all over my house to remind me to stay focused, along with positive affirmations that inspired me and motivated me to keep to my meal plan. I would also journal and read inspiring self-development books. I kept thinking back to that day when I almost lost my son, as well as the sexual trauma I had been through. It took time, but eventually, rather than using these experiences as an excuse to fuel my bad habits, I started using them as fuel to push and empower myself. (Related: 5 Legitimate Reasons to Hire a Personal Trainer)

My career is also something that helped me immensely. I've been a professional photographer for nine years. One of the ways I stayed motivated was by shooting athletes and hearing their stories. Learning about some of the obstacles they had overcome to get to where they are really inspired me to push harder and fight for my health.

 

When I started this journey I had two goals: 1. To become the best I can be for myself and no one else 2. To show all of you out there that you can do this without fancy “diet pills” and “wraps” etc. - When I started I wanted to out of a very dark place in my life. Depression, anxiety and no self worth made me a very negative and angry person. I wasn’t so fun to be around. What I didn’t realize then is that I was doing it to myself and that I had all the power in the world if to change it if I wanted to. The thing is... I didn’t want to because I was afraid of failing again. So I felt trapped inside a body i felt wasn’t mine and living a life being angry and depressed. After a traumatic incident with my son I vowed one last time and I promised myself never again and I would do whatever I could to change and start living the way I desired in my heart. - The changes don’t happen over night people. They take time. Consistency and patience. I just want you all to know that you absolutely can do this. I believe in you. You just have to believe in yourself.  #transformationtuesday #weightlosstransformation #weightlossmotivation #weightloss #withferocity #hustle #sidebyside #beforeandafter #beforeandafterweightloss #bodybuildingcom #bestself #hustle#fitchick #fitnessempowers #fitnessobsessed #womenwithmuscle #sunsoutgunsout #flex #gym #girlswholift #transformation #fitnesslover#health#fatloss#nutrition#wellness#selfcare#100to0 #makeithappen

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Today, I strength-train five days a week, which is usually followed by about 30 minutes of cardio. I also teach spin classes and cardio boxing classes at my local gym, and I'm running three days a week as part of training for my first half marathon. In terms of my diet, I've adopted a whole foods approach and have completely cut out junk food and anything packaged or processed. While it wasn't easy to retrain my brain to think of food in a completely different way, over the past two years, I've taught myself to look at food as a way to nourish my body, rather than a means to distract myself from my anxiety and depression. (Related: How to Tell If You're Emotional Eating)

 

Happy Tuesday loves!! It’s #transformationtuesday and you know what? It still baffles me to look back on some of my very first progress pictures and see where I was to where I am now. It blows my mind! At times I think I’m not progressing enough or I’m not fit enough “yet”, I just look back and see that I have come so far and my life is entirely different. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, I went through some pretty crazy life shit while trying to navigate my health journey and life style change. The catalyst that drove me to change still sits in the back of my kind and I will never regret hiring a coach to be on my side. Can’t thank @jeremyreidfitness enough for helping me these last few years. Anything is possible guys if you just stay the course, be consistent and don’t give up!! - If you are looking for some info on how to get started and a bit on supplementation my new podcast @withferocityradio episode just dropped today and I answer the two post popular questions that I get asked all the time. As always thank you to all of who take the time out of your day to come and leave me such kind words of support. It’s all of you who also inspire me to be my best self. So much gratitude for each of you.  #gratefulheart #transformation #weightlosstransformation #fatloss #100to0 #withferocity

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Since I started my weight-loss journey two years ago, I've lost 140 pounds and feel amazing about my progress, especially when I look back at where I began. I am so proud because I am an entirely different person emotionally as well—I'm who I always knew I was deep down.

Now, I choose to love myself every single day. Changing my mindset helped me realize that my worth is not attached to my past experiences. I encourage anyone else in my shoes to ask why they want to make changes to their lifestyle and health. Your "why" is going to keep you motivated on the days you feel like giving up. For me, it was my husband and son, but also myself. I wanted to regain my inner power and be the best version of myself so I could then help others. (Related: How to Rekindle Your Weight-Loss Motivation When You Just Want to Chill and Eat Chips)

 

Sometimes it is so hard to believe in ourselves.  With all those negative stories we create in our minds that rule you and keep you in fear. Imagine what you could have accomplished already if you kept going.  I know how this is because for years I told myself lies to keep myself small because I was afraid of rejection. I would have never taken let alone posted this image to social media. But I’ve learned to face those fears head on and show them whose the #bosslady. I will never keep myself small again because if I do that, I won’t be able to help others through the same struggles I faced.  So let me help you face your fears and over come hour struggles. Allow me to help you rewrite your stories and flourish a more confident, vibrant and healthy you. I still have a few spots left in my challenge and only 2 spots for one on one coaching! Dm for info!!!  . . . . #mindovermatter#fitnessobsessed#fitchick#withferocity#itmayhavebeencouldoutside#fitfam#womenwithmuscle#workharder#love yourself, bodybuilding

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In my experience, weight loss and lifestyle changes are 90 percent mental. You need to get comfortable with getting uncomfortable. This journey will challenge you in so many different and unexpected ways—and some days (okay, let's be real, a lot of days) you will feel like quitting. Just remember that doing nothing and staying where you are takes energy, and it's hard to constantly be "stuck" turning your wheels. Making big lifestyle changes takes the same amount of energy and is hard, too. So you need to choose your hard. That's what'll push you to make a long-lasting change you're proud of. I'm living proof.

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